Page 1 of First Comes Revenge

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CHARLI

I’m in a microscopic hotel room, pacing in a circle, trying not to barf out of pure nervous panic. Three weeks ago, this idea seemed amazing. It was genius. So genius, in fact, that I didn’t tell anybody, including the boyfriend I’m surprising by flying out here.

And now I’m learning a valuable lesson. If you move fast enough, you can temporarily outrun stupidity. About an hour ago, stupid caught up with me.Hard.

Yeah, maybe I should just barf. I’d feel better if I emptied my already empty stomach.

I gnaw on a fingernail, fold my arms, unfold my arms, pinch my temples, and then blow a raspberry. Surprisingly, none of that helps. I still feel like I’m in a blind panic.

I stare out the window at the unfamiliar desert landscape outside. Arizona. Ari-freaking-zona. I spent money I don’t have on plane tickets here and spent even more money I don’t have to buy tickets to the author’s convention a few blocks from my hotel. And my boyfriend has no idea I’m coming. Why would he? He specifically asked me not to come.

Maybe I should faint instead of throwing up. At least then I’d get to enjoy a few moments of blissful unconsciousness.

I need to call someone. Two sisters, an overprotective brother, two best friends… It’s quite the list to choose from. My youngest sister isn’t old enough to handle something like this, so I cross her off my options. My brother would try to fix it for me and tell me not to move a muscle. That has a ring to it, but I don’t want to be rescued. This was my colossal screw up. I should at least be the one to unscrew myself, if that’s what I decide to do.

My other sister, Dani, is a wild card. She’s smart and practical, and she shoots straight. I know she’ll tell me exactly what she thinks.

Then there’s my friends. Gemmaline would just encourage me in whatever direction she thinks I want to go. Pure, unconditional support. Also tempting, but probably not helpful except for calming me down temporarily.

Roxie is my last option. She has wanted me to break up with my boyfriend pretty much since we started dating. Unless I want to be told I should march up to him tomorrow and spit in his face or stab him with a prison shank, I probably don’t need to call her.

I chew my nail a little more, then call Dani.Honesty it is.

Dani picks up on the second ring. “It’s pretty late for you. Did you get hooked on another one of those serial killer documentaries?” I can hear her smiling as she slows down her speech like she’s talking to a baby. “Is somebody scared again and needs their big sister?”

“It’s not that,” I snap. “Remember that time when I thought I found a stray cat and it was actually a baby bobcat?”

Dani audibly shudders. That was a long day for both of us. “Yes. I thought we agreed not to talk about that anymore.”

“Yeah, well, I’m about to do something even dumber. And I need advice.”

There’s a pause. “Did you adopt something else?”

“What? No.” I guess I have a kind of history for adopting things and it turning out to be a massive mistake, but I don’t appreciate her assumption.

A longer pause follows. This time, her voice is hopeful and excited. “Did you finish your book?”

“Wait, what? I said I did something dumb. Why would that be dumb?”

“Oh, I got bored of guessing what you did wrong. I was just curious if you finished.”

“Focus, Dani. This is important.”

“Okay, okay. What did you do?”

When I speak, it comes out in a rush. I’m hoping it will all sound more reasonable when I say it aloud. “I showed up at Vaughn’s work conference thing in Arizona. I flew out without telling him, got a hotel room, and was planning to surprise him at the author meet and greet tomorrow.” I wait, wincing while I imagine all of that bouncing around my sister’s head. Saying it aloud definitely didn’t make it sound more reasonable.Not even a little.

I can almost picture Dani blinking as she takes in everything I just said. “That’s not funny, Charli.”

“Good, because it’s not a joke!” I walk around the room and do a sort of jazz hand thing with my free hand. “I’mfreaking out!What do I do?”

“What do you mean what do you do?” Dani hisses. “You already did it, doofus!”

“I thought it would be one of those relationship saving kinds of gestures. I don’t know! It seemed like a good idea when I thought it up!” I’m practically hysterical now. I knew this was stupid. I was already freaking out, but hearing my sister’s panic is only pushing me more over the edge.

“Were you perhaps drunk when you thought this up?”

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