Page 30 of Bullied Mate

A flash of pain in my forehead slowed my pace. I gasped for air as I approached a clearing, checking with feverish glances to make sure I hadn’t subconsciously run to the pond while lost in my head. Dark grass brimmed along the edges of the tree line, creating a natural circle in which mushrooms grew.

Relief soothed my aching muscles as I trudged into the clearing. None of those memories needed to come back. This moment was about escaping what was going on in Silverdawn, not pondering it.

How aggravating it was to discover that my brain refused to give it a rest. I closed my eyes while resting my hands on my knees, hauling air into my lungs as fast as my organs would allow. Each inhalation brought with it a burning cold that reminded me of the medical wing in that Estaria hospital where my elders had approached.

At the time, I’d been but a girl. Teenagers shouldn’t be worried about neglect or abuse. They should be honing their skills and communing with other creatures their age, perhaps going out with varying groups to learn different perspectives.

Ambersky had been so deeply unkind to me that I could barely eat.

This had concerned my elders. They’d convened outside the door of my room, whispering gently to each other while casting glances back at me. Once they had agreed on the procedure, they told me every possible detail.

Amnesia spells were largely painless while they were being cast, but the blowback from a spell being broken was dangerous. Luck had been on my side when mine had been unraveled, for my elders had chosen to bind my amnesia to a singular source—a boy by the name of Xavier who didn’t have any frequent physical contact with me.

They could have bound my amnesia to one of my torturers, to any of the adults who had participated in the barbaric practices of shocking me with collars and cattle prods to get me to shift. That terrifying idea to chase me through the woods had been recommended by a rather shady fellow with a scar over his right eye. Why not him instead? Though I had to guess it wouldn’t have mattered. I was destined never to see any of those people ever again—hence why my elders chose to bind the spell as they did. I was never supposed to run into Xavier.

Yet I had.

An owl hooted nearby, settling me back into the present. I peered up at the darling moon, admiring the winking stars that provided consolation on long nights alone.

Though I was never quite alone when I had the Star Goddess. This was her time. This was her palace.

I was in good company.

I strolled into the center of the clearing, minding the patches of mushrooms with cautious steps. The elders back in Estaria had been nameless at the time of my procedure. Erasing memories was a delicate business, and they’d needed to cover their tracks so I wouldn’t be able to trace anything back to them. I simply knew them as nameless and faceless elders.

Unfortunately, the same didn’t apply to the Ambersky Growlers. Every face returned, as angry and bitter as they had been on that fateful night. If the Star Goddess hadn’t caught me in her arms inside that dimensional tear, I would have been trapped in dire circumstances for many years.

Who knew what those people would have done to me?

Resentment foamed in my mouth as I plopped into a patch of dewy grass. Above my head I heard the sound of distant planes. The city beyond our land gave so much noise at this hour. Many shifters were enjoying their freedom, since Wolfcreek was such a glorious haven for us all.

However much it comforted me to know I wasn’t alone, startling memories were circulating my mind, bringing forth old feelings and eerie images. Understandably, I had been withdrawn the rest of the day, caught between the loving conversation provided by Claire and the trauma caused by the Ambersky Growlers.

To say that either of them would win was a toss-up. Only the Star Goddess knew what would happen next—and that could change by the second. Fate wove her fingers around our lives, yes, but there was no true path that could be discerned—anyone could change their mind at any given moment.

Star Goddess knew every possibility. It was up to me to choose one.

I hung my head. Here, there was a bountiful support system. I ought to choose the present, for all its riches were right here in my hands. Xavier aside, everything was fine.

Why was I worried about my past when there was nothing I could do about it?

Peppermint sailed into my awareness. That wondrous scent lifted me from the ground and carried me to the other side of the trees. Beyond the round formation was a wide field of tall grass resembling that of my nightmares. Fear crushed my chest until I realized that the peppermint scent was on the move.

And it was heading right toward me.

Quickly ducking into the brush prevented the approaching creature from noticing me. A few rigid motions piqued my interest until I recognized Xavier in his muscular glory, raising his arms to the sky.

“Why?” His voice resonated with anguish. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next. What do I do?”

The man prostrated himself on the ground. On his knees with his arms up high, he appeared to be worshiping nature—or perhaps chastising her for the chaos that had descended upon his life.

Personally, I knew him too well. I knew that he had called upon this chaos as easily as someone might summon a paragraph from a book. Had he chosen instead to be kind to me as a teenager, we wouldn’t be in this predicament. We could have actually been happy with each other if I hadn’t known of his association with my abusers.

“Why did you make my mother sick?”

Excruciating sorrow wore his voice to a thin, frail croak. Tremendous anxiety had piled up in him about his mother and his family. This morning had proven to me her loyalty and love for him. Wasn’t he aware of that?

Xavier dropped his arms, the sound of his hands slapping his thighs echoing much like his voice. “I’m lost. Where do I go when I’m lost like this? I’m lost…”

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