Page 4 of Feelin' Pine

“Yellow.”

My vision begins to clear, and I work myself through all the colors of the rainbow, and by the time I make it to violet, my heart slows, and I no longer feel faint.

Kraine stops barking while I ease myself into a calmer state. He follows along with me as if he reacts to me. I reach for him, and he leans against my legs, and I pet his soft fur, bringing me more comfort than anything else. He’s gotten me through more anxiety-induced episodes than anything else. I kneel, bury my face in the scruff of his neck, and rub my cheeks against him. I take in deep breaths of his dog smell. He was groomed the day before we came to the cabin. He likes the attention and the pampering.

“Thank you, Kraine.” I hug him close. He’s always been intuitive.

Did I see what I thought? Is someone out there?

Kraine remains slightly stiffer than usual, but he’s no longer causing a ruckus.

Rising, I shuffle back to the table where my buddy keeps close, and he sits down at my feet as I sit and return to my coffee.

Hesitantly I take a sip.

One cup is all I need, after all.

* * *

The book sits openon my lap as I curl into the corner of the couch later in the afternoon. I stare at the cover and question my ability to think clearly.

Why did I bring a murder mystery set in the woods when I’m alone in a cabin in the woods? That wasn’t smart.

Sighing, I glance over at Kraine, and he’s stretching out on his back, snoozing as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.

I wish.

Closing the book, I toss it to the coffee table and re-question my choices. Bringing that book with me wasn’t my smartest moment, especially since I planned to hike today. I don’t need any heebie-jeebie thoughts floating around in my head while I take in nature and try to relax.

The cell phone lights up and vibrates to tell me a text has come in. I’ve been texting off and on with my sister Mikaela all day, but they’ve been coming in as groups. I’m not sure my texts are going out. And her current text of ‘I’m worried about you’ clues me in because she has no other reason to text that to me now.

Kraine pops his head off the floor and gives me a dopey smile while he starts to pant as he seems to sense I’m considering heading out and exploring a little bit. Something I know he’s dying to do ever since we arrived. He’s not meant to be shuttered in all day, every day. It’s not fair to him.

I gaze into his honey eyes. My heart melts and clenches with my love for him. He’s the best thing in my life, and I’m forever grateful to have him love me the way he does. That’s the deciding factor in making me decide it’s time to grow a backbone, get myself and my dog out of this cabin, and take in some fresh air.

Grabbing my hiking boots, I slide them on, and Kraine starts doing his excited zoomies.

“Okay, buddy, calm down. We’re going in a minute. Let me finish getting ready.”

Opening the essentials bag, I pull out my Sasquatch spray to ensure I have it on hand. It’s also known as bear spray, but when I decided to take a solo mountain trip, I read in my research that the spray works equally well on people and, you guessed it, sasquatches. It’s a have-to-have item when vacationing in the woods.

Thankfully, a sasquatch hasn’t been seen in these woods in a long time. Bears, on the other hand, that’s another matter, but they’re getting ready to hibernate, and it’s warm out, so they’ll be slow.Right? And full?

Shaking my head at the ridiculousness inside my head, I straighten my shoulders and pump myself up. I want to stop questioning myself and every move I make. I want to be sure of my decisions and execute them proudly.

Fucking, Daniel. He screwed me over in more ways than one.

Closing my eyes and centering myself, I assess my thoughts and reaffirm myself.

No, Daniel didn’t take away my power. I gave it away. It’s my reactions I can control. I am powerful. I am—

“Ruff. Ruff!” Kraine’s deep barks shock me enough to snap open my eyes and watch him pace in front of the door.

“Kraine! There’s nothing out there.”

I grab his leash as he begins pawing at the door and annoyance has me losing my patience. “Hey, stop that. I don’t need to lose my deposit.”

The cabin isn’t a luxurious resort-style escape, but it’s homey and in good condition and deserves the respect of being cared for by the people who rent it, so others can enjoy it as well. It also makes me worry about ruining the connection my sister has with the owner. It’s because of her connection I got such a good deal. If Kraine and I ruin the place, I’d hate for it to ruin my sister’s relationship with the owner.

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