Page 9 of So Alone

Two weeks wasn’t enough, not nearly enough, but she would make it work. She had caught other criminals faster than that, and she knew this killer, knew him as she knew no other killer. She would find him and stop him whether the Boss wanted her to or not.

***

Dr. West smiled kindly at Faith and his compassion seemed perfectly genuine when he asked her, “How are you feeling?”

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Not good,” she said honestly.

"I don't blame you," he said, "I hear about Gordon. It's incredibly difficult to lose a friend, and to lose him the way you did is even more difficult. I'm so sorry."

She managed a brief smile. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me,” he said, “I never understood that social convention anyway. I’m not doing you a favor by expressing sorrow. Sorrow is a natural reaction to the loss of life.”

Faith had known far too many who felt the exact opposite of sorrow at the loss of life, but she only smiled and nodded in return.

“Well,” he said, “I had a different plan for this session, but in light of recent events, I think we should dispense with that and focus on the pain you’re feeling now. Is that all right with you?”

Faith nodded. She had come to trust Dr. West and value his advice. He was every bit as pedantic and, in many ways, just as annoying as she imagined a psychologist would be, but he was also genuinely concerned for her mental health, and she believed that he truly wanted her to heal.

“Good,” he said, then added, “Another word that truly has no place in this conversation.” He shook his head sympathetically and said, “Tell me how you feel, Faith.”

Faith didn’t answer right away. She couldn’t nail down exactly what she felt. She felt a lot of things at once, none of them good. She finally decided to just say what was on her mind without trying to organize it.

“I feel angry,” she said, “angry at the copycat killer for taking Gordon. Angry at myself for not being there to protect him—yes, I know it’s not my fault, but I still feel that way. Angry at the Boss for taking me off the case—”

“He took you off the case?” Dr. West interrupted. “Really.”

Faith nodded. “Yes. He feels that I’m too emotionally compromised after seeing the body.”

“You saw Gordon’s body?” Dr. West interrupted again. He leaned forward in his chair, eyes wide with amazement. “Were you the one to discover him?”

Faith nodded, a lump forming in her throat.

“Oh my,” Dr. West said, leaning back in his chair again. “That must have been horrible for you.”

“Yes,” Faith agreed, blinking back tears. “Yes, it was.”

“So the Boss feel you’re too emotionally compromised to handle this case? That’s interesting. What leads him to feel that way?”

She shrugged. “He thinks we’re all too close to it now. He thinks that part of the reason we’ve been unsuccessful in catching him is that we’re all too invested in it now. We've started taking it personally, and that's why Gordon and Desrouleaux never caught him and why Desrouleaux and Chavez still haven't. And, of course, with Gordon murdered, we're all upset and not thinking straight."

“Do you believe you’re not thinking straight?”

Faith shook her head. She had given that a lot of thought over the past few days. “No, I’m thinking clearly,” she said. “I’m angry, and I’m hurt, and I’m sad that Gordon is dead, but I’m thinking clearly. I can see now that this killer has been obsessed with me this entire time.”

Dr. West had reached for his water bottle while she answered. He paused with it halfway to his lips when she said that. “You believe he’s obsessed with you?”

Faith nodded. “It makes sense. The Donkey Killer—the original one—he very nearly killed me, but in the end, Michael saved me.”

Dr. West seemed shocked by that. “Michael?”

“Yes, Special Agent Prince. He stopped the Donkey Killer just before the Donkey Killer could make the final—before he could kill me. I think the Copycat Killer sees me as unfinished business. These other killings—they matter, but I think the point is to try to goad me into making the same mistake I made with the first Donkey Killer so he can get me alone and finish the job he started.”

“Michael Prince shot Jethro Trammell,” Dr. West mused.

Faith frowned. “Yes. Have I never told you that before?”

Dr. West had a faraway look in his eyes as he shook his head. “No, you haven’t.” He inhaled and refocused on Faith. “I apologize. That isn’t related to what we’re talking about. It’s just a surprising detail. So you think he’s trying to get to you, and that motivates all of his crimes? Please forgive me, Faith, but thatdoessound a little paranoid.”

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