Page 14 of Puck Yes

“Wrong, Samuels. It’s the daisy ones I dig.”

Ryker claps my shoulder. “Don’t fuck up the captain’s laundry,” he says, then he rattles off ten more laundry specs, it seems.

“And make sure to fold everything neatly and leave it by the stalls,” Stefan adds.

I don’t expect I’ll actually be washing anyone’s gear, but I understandhow hazing works. I repeat the instructions and start toward the laundry room, but Ryker clears his throat. “And one more thing. You have to get the mascot costume. It’s being cleaned. Thank fuck.”

His relief sounds specific enough to make me wonder, “Why ‘thank fuck?’”

Stefan answers. “The last guy got busted for renting his sorry ass out to after-hours parties, making appearances in costume, then dealing drugs. Someone snapped a pic of him taking off the head of his costume to snort a line.”

I blink. “That’s a choice, I guess.” A bad choice.

“New one just signed on. For a couple months,” Stefan says. “Take the costume to Equipment Room A.”

“Got it,” I say and try again to leave.

But neither the current nor the former Avenger is done with me yet. “And listen, you’d better be a nice fucking guy when you bring it to her.” Ryker’s tone is stern. “And don’t hit on her.”

Stefan snorts, and I laugh in surprise at the idea of hitting on someone at work. “Not a problem.”

“No, seriously. Don’t,” Ryker says, staring sharply at me.

Stefan’s laughter grows louder. “Oh, man. We don’t have to listen to you anymore on that count, Samuels.”

I’m pretty sure I’m missing the joke, but I’m not going to let on.

They send me on my way, and when I enter the laundry room, Doggo shakes his head in amusement. “Why are you bringing me the laundry I was about to go collect? It’s literally my job, and no one takes Doggo’s job.”

“Wait till you hear what they want done,” I say.

Doggo rolls his eyes. “I can only imagine.”

“And I’m supposed to get the mascot costume,” I add.

“Yup. Let me grab Blob.” It takes me a beat to realize Blob is the name of the outfit. He rounds the corner and hefts a large, furry, purple thing into his arms, carrying it to me. “Here you go, kid.”

Kid.

That’s not bad. Well, from a guy twice my age.

“Thanks, man,” I say.

Carrying it down the hall, I run into Dev, who’s scrolling on his phone. He looks up and nods at the purple blob in my arms. “You taking Blob to Ryker’s sister?”

Um. I have no idea. “Does she work here?”

“She’s the new mascot,” Dev explains, then returns to his phone.

Thedon’t hit on hercomment makes a lot more sense now. But when I reach the equipment room and see the woman waiting outside, I know it’s too late.

I’ve already hit on her. And now it looks like I’m working with her.

Yes, universe, the joke is on me.

6

MASCOT PATROL

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