Page 75 of Love Somebody Like You

“You’re not your job, Jackson.” She clasped his fingers. “God doesn’t love you any more or less because of what you do or how well you do it.”

That might be true, but it didn’t change how he felt about himself. “I don’t know why you bother with me,” he muttered.

“Jackson, I—”

He shrugged off her hand. “I can’t do this, Lexi. I want—need—to be alone.”

She stilled, and he brushed past her and moved out to the barn before he could see accusation in her eyes. There he found Brutus in his pen, looking as frustrated as Jackson felt.

He shoved fingers through his hair, grinding his teeth. Might as well add a dentist charge to their debts.

“Why can’t anything go right?” His throat thickened, and he blinked at the burn in his eyes. He slumped against the wall, stretching out his legs as Brutus eyed him uncertainly.

“Sucks to be us, huh?”

He scrubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t deserve Lexi. And she sure didn’t deserve him. He wouldn’t blame her for taking him at his word and leaving him.

But still, her challenge wove through his emotions. Sure, God might love him, but a man wanted—needed—to prove himself, didn’t he? His brothers had all succeeded, climbing the professional ladder, making money, achieving. Which left him feeling left behind, the runt of the litter.

Panic rose, stifling the quieter voice begging him to pause, to be still. He pushed through, closing his eyes, straining to hear that whisper again. God loved him. God saw him. He didn’t need to live with this constant fear.

Did he?

No.

He exhaled slowly. “God, help me to trust you. Show me what to do.”

His eyelids lifted. In the dimness, he saw Brutus staring back at him.

A savage tug of pity for the bull pushed him to his feet, to slide open the big wooden doors, then move back to the pen and unlatch the gate.

“Come on, boy. You might as well enjoy your last week. Say hi to the girls one more time.” Even if they had no wish to see him.

He slapped Brutus on the rump and steered him out to the pasture behind.

“Boss?” Denny. “What are you doing?”

“Giving Brutus a final chance at freedom.”

Denny’s whistle drifted softly on the evening air. “He hasn’t had much luck, not since we had that hot spell of weather six weeks ago.”

“It’s been a warm one, that’s for sure.”

From in the distance he heard a cow’s call, and the darkness pressing in reminded him he needed to return to prepare the financial statements for tomorrow’s bank meeting. But before he did that, he had an apology to make.

Back in the house he found his sister and mom watching a movie. “Where’s Lexi?”

“She got a phone call and said she needed to go.”

“Go? Go where?”

Wait. She hadn’t really thought he’d meant he wanted to be alone, had she? Panic rose, and he hurried down the hall, down to the room she’d claimed as her own. “Lexi?” He tapped on the door. “Lexi? It’s Jackson. Hey, can we talk?”

He could hear movement inside, so she was in there. He pounded a little harder. “Lexi?”

Cooper paused at the end of the hall, his raised brows and sardonic expression making it obvious what he thought about Jackson’s oh-so-smooth ways.

Jackson ignored him. “Lexi, please, open the door.”

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