Page 50 of The Leader

It was the first time since they were kids that Jazzy couldn’t celebrate Mike’s birthday with him. As she sat in the kitchen, she looked into the garden, her eyes staring off in the distance. She didn’t feel like eating. Or talking. Or working. She’d already sent a message to Tommie to hold the fort because she wasn’t going to make it to the office today.

Thea looked worried, but after she couldn’t get much more out of Jazzy than a few words, she left her alone.

In the distance, she could hear the doorbell, but she didn’t feel like going to check on who was there. Thea would answer the door, or someone else would. It didn’t really matter, for today was the birthday of her childhood friend, her first lover, the man she had shared her deepest, darkest secret with. The man who was no more.

The morning felt like an incredible low after the incredible high she’d had just the night before. She hadn’t ever been into fetish wear, but knowing Gio had one designed just for her, made her feel special. Really special, and she didn’t want to think of why that was. She was afraid that she could no longer deny that, somewhere over the course of the last few months, Giovanni Detta had conquered a place in her heart. Last night, he had worshiped every part of her body, including her tummy she had to admit she was somewhat self-conscious about.

“Excuse me, Jocelyn?”

She turned to Thea, who was standing in the door opening. “A package was delivered for you.”

“What’s in it?”

“I don’t know. It’s kind of big.”

The package was big and square. The delivery guy had placed it in the hallway, next to the mirror. She had a feeling what it was, and as she unwrapped it, her hands started shaking.

Her stomach dropped, and tears filled her eyes when she uncovered a painting that depicted a red phoenix rising from the ashes. The bottom half of the canvas was black, making her think of darkness and despair. The beautiful bird had, however, risen from the deep dark, leaving behind a trail of fire as he launched himself toward the sun. Merely the tip of his tail still touched the dark, as if it was being pulled back somehow.

She immediately recognized the painter.

Mike…

“There was an envelope as well.”

She vaguely remembered taking the envelope from Thea and opening it.

Jazzy, if you’re reading this, I’m gone.

I thought about leaving you letters, even a diary, telling you what you mean to me. What you have meant to me every day when you were by my side, holding my hand as I went through another treatment. In the end, I decided to show it to you, because I am a man that paints, not a man of words.

By now, I’m sure you have visited the masters, as I had always wanted but was never able to. Because that’s the kind of person you are: if you make a promise, you keep it. There is nothing you wouldn’t do for the ones you love, and I am honored to leave this life knowing that I was one of those people. I wish I would have been able to do the same for you. I wish I could have slain your monster. I may not have been able to do so in this life, but never forget that I am looking over you from above. Know that as I’m writing you this letter, that I am praying that you will find a guardian angel in this life before we meet on the other side.

Love you, always,

Mike

Her tears dripped onto the letter, making some letters go blurry. It was just too much. The thing with her sister, Tommie getting shot, and now this. She couldn’t handle this. Not today. She dropped the letter and went upstairs, ignoring Thea’s calls behind her.

I wish I could have slain your monster.

Why, why did he have to remind her ofhim? The monster in her closet, the darkest memory of her childhood that she so desperately tried to forget?

Dirty.

You little slut.

The memory made her feel so dirty.

She shucked her clothes off and stepped into the shower, letting the powerful jets hit her body. She didn’t move from underneath the hard spray until she felt clean again. Then she turned the water off and crawled into bed.

Sleep. She needed to sleep until the pain would stop.

CHAPTER 24

GIO

Gio put down the letter from Mike. He knew the painter had been Jazzy’s only lover. Another man might be happy to know that his wife didn’t have many lovers, but he wasn’t one of them. This Mike had been her only lover for a reason. What if she still had feelings for him?

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