Page 37 of Tasting Darkness

Yet as the screams, the smells overwhelm me and try to trap me inside myself, I feel a tugging sensation. One that is luring me out of the darkness, calling me out of myself, calling me out of the void that was once my power. I feel cold despite the warm hands touching me and the sparks rushing over my skin.

“And she is right to fear it. She is the last Harmony-Fae, but she shouldn't have been. You two would have been unstoppable if you were still one, too,” I hear Kalen’s voice, his words growing clearer, and I hear someone sigh. His words confuse me, and I wonder which of our mates he is speaking with. The bond feels numb, feels like it has been stunned, and my eyes are too heavy to force open. I want to know who Kalen is speaking to and what his words mean, yet my tongue feels thick in my mouth.

“I won't let them do that to you. I will keep you safe,” Darius whispers, and I finally figure out who is holding me. The sparks make my skin tingle and burn, yet his voice doesn't sound like the same demonic-crazed voice from earlier. No, he sounds like his regular self, but what he did to Kalen, what I felt through my bond, made my eyes burn with tears.

Kalen however, is accepting. I remember that much, almost willing and resigned to his fate, I can’t explain it. How could he be willing but not at the same time? Gentle fingers stroke my face, brushing my hair back, and I realize we are in the shower, the sound of rushing water reaching my ears and the feel of it hitting my skin.

“I can feel her. She is waking. You should take her before she wakes,” Darius murmurs.

“No, you hold her.”

“She won’t want me holding her, Kalen. Not after what I did,” Darius says, and I try to blink, try to move, yet I feel paralyzed. But finally, my body willed my eyes to open. I stare at the ceiling, and I can see the side of Darius' face, yet I can’t turn my head to look for Kalen.

Darius gasps, looking down and noticing my eyes open and peering back at him, looking away from me when I catch myself staring at him. “She is fine. Her bond is fully awake,” Kalen says.

“Kalen, please,” Darius says, his voice pleading, yet I can’t understand why.

“No. You will hold her,” Kalen says, his voice sounding firm, which is odd. He is never so demanding, especially with Darius. What is more shocking is watching Darius give in to his demands as Kalen steps out of the shower where I can no longer see him. Darius turns slightly, watching him get out before turning his face back to look at me.

“I won’t hurt you,” he whispers. He sounds so defeated and unsure of himself, and it is odd seeing him like that. I wonder how long it will last before he is back to pushing me away because if past behavior is any indicator, he would do just that. However, for now, he is being pleasant. I can’t think of any other word to describe his out-of-character behavior.

Yet I know deep down that he isn’t the monster I saw in the classroom, that was another entity entirely compared to his normal asshole self. No, this was a different side, one I had a feeling only Kalen ever saw. He swallows before moving his hand back to my face. His thumb brushes over my lips. His touch burns and sears my bond like it wants to recoil away from him for what he did to Kalen and yet run to him at the same time.

“You don't want me touching you. I get it… But I need to if I am to give it back,” he murmurs. Though, by the look on his face, he appears to be conflicted. I too am conflicted because it sounds like he is asking permission, something he never does. Yet, I am powerless and immobile to stop anything he would do. So what’s the point?

In this position, I feel like a broken toy for him to break or fix. So I am shocked when his lips press against mine, his thumb on my chin tug my lips apart so his tongue could slip inside and brush mine. The energy of the power radiating off him zings through me, and his arms holding me to him pull me closer as he kisses me deeper. Yet I feel nothing, only the barest scraps of his magic when he pulls away.

“Take it, Aleera. Pull on my magic,” he growls, yet I see the monster he becomes without it, so I refuse. My bond even refuses, clearly resisting that side of him again. It scares me, scares the bond, tarnishing it with knowledge of what he is capable of becoming. Darius sighs and presses his lips to my head.

“I will give you back to your mates then,” he whispers, looking away before he stands. Darius cradles me against his chest and moves toward the bedroom door. It opens seconds before he reaches it, and Tobias steps in with a towel. He growls at Darius, and I feel mortified, caught between them both as they stand off. Tobias dries my skin as best he can. Darius then places me on the bed before walking back through the bathroom, only to return moments later.

I recognize the black purse instantly, and anger festers inside me as he opens it and pulls out a syringe. Lycus snarls at him as he draws the liquid from the small vial.

“No! You have done enough damage,” Lycus snarls, gripping his wrist only for Kalen to crawl onto the bed from the other side.

“He is reversing it,” Kalen says simply, falling on his side beside me. He pulls me over and onto my side, and I wonder how long I will be paralyzed. I hate it, and gosh, I hope I get feeling back before I need to use the bathroom.

ChapterTwenty-Eight

Lycus hesitates, then snatches the vial from Darius. He sniffs it before passing it to Tobias, who does the same. He purses his lips but nods to Darius, who then stabs the needle in my thigh. I feel nothing. It makes me wonder why this time I am paralyzed or if it is a side effect of him hurting my bond so severely because he has stolen my magic plenty of times before and it never affected me like this. He’s hurt my bond but it's never had this reaction before either.

“Did you give her back her magic?” Tobias asks, leaning over me. All I can do is stare at him. I wish I could speak because their anger toward Darius though warranted is upsetting Kalen, and I can feel the darkness swirling inside him. The depressiveness of it tainting him, and it scared me. I know how low he can get, and their anger is not helping him.

“She wouldn't take it back,” Darius murmurs, and the guilt on his face is clear as he looks at Kalen, who smiles sadly, sweeping my hair back over my shoulder before laying his head beside mine on the pillow.

Yet as the day turns to night, Darius moves toward the couch and falls asleep on it. Try as I might to sleep, the bond keeps waking me up. And the more it does, the more I feel Darius’ guilt and Kalen’s anguish. I feel Tobias and Lycus’ searing hot anger. I feel it all, all of them.

And it makes me realize how broken they all are. Broken, just like my bond. They’re big, tough, and intimidating, but deep down, they are damaged and haunted by their pasts, and scared of their futures. I hate the feelings they invoke, hate how they all feel. I suddenly hate being their keeper because the yearning I have inside to fix it is almost unbearable, and part of me knows some things aren't forgivable.

However, despite that, I know forgiveness is what Darius needs at this moment. It’s what Kalen wants. It’s what the other two refuse to give Darius. Darius has pushed them too far this time. He’s crossed too many lines. My bond hates that Darius has hurt it, yet I can’t hang onto the anger because I need Darius just as much as the others.

Tobias and Lycus' hate towards Darius only seems to bother Kalen more. All of them, as they keep stirring all night. But as time slips by, the more my movement returns, until eventually I roll myself over as I feel Kalen climb out of bed. Sitting up, I hear him muttering to himself, pacing the room when I realize Darius is no longer asleep on the couch.

Kalen is pacing the room and muttering in his sleep, almost as if he is searching for something. Recognition hits me moments later, and this is the darkest part of Kalen returning and the darkness that traps him. Climbing out of bed, I move toward him and wave my hands in front of his face, but it’s as if he can’t see me despite looking directly at me.

It takes my bond only moments to recognize he is seeking out Darius as he usually does. I glance at the door, wondering if I should search for him. It is still late at night, so I assume he went to sleep in the other room.

Moving toward the door, Ryze, who I hadn’t noticed perched on the windowsill, flies over to me. He pecks at the door by my feet, and I open the bathroom door and walk through to my old room. The moment I push the door open, Ryze waddles over to Darius’ bed and jumps on it. He rubs his beak across his cheek and earns a swat from Darius, who is snoring softly. Ryze bites his finger, making Darius lurch upright just as I reach the side of the small bed.

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