Page 79 of Taming Liberty

“I’m so sorry,” I say, my voice strained.

I feel Julia’s eyes on me.

“Don’t apologize for them, Angel.”

I shake my head. “I’m not apologizing for them, I’m apologizing for myself.” The moisture in my mouth seems to transfer to beads of sweat on the back of my neck, and I swallow as if that will do any good. “If I wouldn’t have forced Dario to go out that night, or if I hadn’t—”

“Stop.”

“I need to say this.” I force my eyes to her and will myself not to harden. Why? Why am I like this? “I’m fifteen years too late, but Julia, I swear, not a day has gone by that I haven’t regretted what I did. There’s nothing I can say to make this right, but I need you to know that I’m sorry.”

She sighs. “Angel.” She lowers her head and plants her palm to her forehead. “You were a twenty-one-year-old idiot. Dario was a twenty-six-year-old man with a newborn baby at home. He chose to go drinking, and he chose to take a joyride on the back of a convertible down a back road. No one forced him to do that.”

“I pressured him—”

“Did you miss the part about him being a fully grown man?” She sighs again, but this time it sounds frustrated. “You were not responsible for him. He was supposed to be responsible foryou. You could’ve just as easily been the one who ended up with brain damage. I don’t have any idea why your family can’t see that, but no one in this house finds you responsible.”

My eyes shift to the window.

“No one,” she repeats. “Sam isn’t walking around thinking you took his father from him. His father was in a tragic accident, and itsucks. He was robbed of the relationship he could’ve had, and he has every right to be pissed the fuck off, but it isn’t at you. It’s at his papá, who again, should not have been out that night. To make matters worse, his papá is still alive, yet he doesn’t get to see him. He doesn’t get to see anyone besides me who knows and loves Dario. His grandparents choose to deny him that, and now he will never get the chance to know his grandmother.”

She looks away from me, her lips pursing and her face hard. “I hate them. I hate them for hurting my son, and honestly, you should hate them too. It’s been fifteen years, and you’re still walking around with this guilt.”

I turn my head to stare at the empty street. I have no idea how to feel about what she’s saying. This isn’t the way I see things, and it isn’t how I imagined she saw things either.

“I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me,” Julia says.

I look at her.

“Have you been avoiding Sam all his life because it’s painful for you to come back here, or is it because of this stupid guilt?”

I tug at my collar. “I haven’t been trying to avoid him. I just assumed he wouldn’t want me around.”

She nods solemnly. “You’re as big of an idiot as I thought you were back then.”

My lips sink into a frown.

“Angel, he would love it if you were around. You grew up with his papá. You could tell him stories that I can’t. He needs you to be his uncle way more than he needs you to be ‘the dude who’s going to pay for his college.’”

“Fuck,” I mutter, leaning back.

I abandoned him, just like my family did. That was never my intention, but I can see it now.

“Yeah,” she says. She reaches out to put her hand on mine. I meet her eyes as her lips lift into a tight smile. “But hey, you’re here now.” She pulls her hand away. “I know you’re probably spending your time at your parents’, but if you get any free time, we would love to have you and Liberty here.”

A laugh erupts from my chest, and I’m not sure if I’m amused or bitter. Probably both. “We have plenty of time. We were there for less than an hour before Papá kicked us out.”

Her brows knit. “Seriously? Even with your mamá being sick?”

I hum my confirmation, deciding not to mention it was because I told him I’d be coming here.

She gives her head a shake. “Fucking bastard.”

I don’t respond to that. My father’s an asshole, but I don’t blame him for not wanting me there.

She clears her throat, and I sense the air shifting. I can tell we’re about to change subjects. “Liberty seems nice. It was kind of her to occupy Adán. He’d be coming out here every few minutes otherwise.” She chuckles. “Are you two uh…?” Her eyes lower to my hand as if searching for a ring.

“We’re not married, no.”

---