Page 47 of Taming Liberty

He gives me a satisfied smile and kisses me on the lips. “That was amazing,” he murmurs, ignoring the elephant in the room as he rolls off of me and pulls me into him.

As soon as I’m nuzzled under his arm, he trails his fingers over my shoulder.

I close my eyes, trying not to let a moment of weakness destroy what just happened. Or what it meant to me.

“I didn’t mean it.”

Angel’s fingers pause for a second. “I know you didn’t.”

“I was just caught up in the moment,” I go on. “I was mid orgasm.” I laugh, but I don’t think I’m fooling either of us.

I don’t love Angel. I just love the man I thought he was, and sometimes, I forget he doesn’t exist.

“It’s okay, Lib. I’ve already forgotten about it.”

The embarrassment fades, but it’s replaced by disappointment. Disappointment at what? That he didn’t say it back?

Do Iwanthim to?

No. Of course not.

Right?

Right. It just would’ve been nice if he treated it a little less flippantly… But at least he’s being kind and not humiliating me further.

“Thank you.” I sigh with relief. “And thank you for being, um … you know, a gentleman.”

“It’s what you deserve. You should never accept anything less.”

The muscles in my shoulders pull tight at the naive benevolence in his voice, as if it could ever be that simple. “That’s easy for you to say.”

“It should be easy for you to say too.”

I don’t know what to say to that, but I can say that if my mouth opens, it’ll turn into a fight.

“You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman capable of looking out for yourself. You had no problem fighting the life thrust upon you when you got here, so I really am curious why you seemed to accept so much shit in your old life.”

I close my eyes, remaining silent as I try not to remember it all.

“I in no way mean to insult you,” he says, his voice gentle. “You’re just … difficult for me to understand.”

I know I am. Because I haven’t let him fully know me. I’ve never let anyone fully know me.

But for the first time in my life, it feels like someone wants to try, and that knowledge clogs me with emotion all over again.

We lay in silence for what feels like a long time while I wait for him to drag himself out of bed. Sawyer and Anna are still downstairs. Surely, Angel will want to get back to them. Surely, he won’t want to just keep laying here with me while I go back and forth about whether or not to open myself up to him.

I couldn’t even do it when he was saltyshells. Why would I be able to now when he’s Angel?

I silently trace the planes and valleys of the muscles that cover his abdomen, just as I did when I was faking it. Amazing what an hour can do.

No, not an hour. A year.

“I was raped,” I whisper, cringing at the words I’ve barely said in my mind.

It feels like the air has been sucked up from the room as Angel’s abs flex beneath my hand. I don’t think either of us were expecting me to say anything even remotely close to that.

Angel places his hand over mine and holds it while he shifts onto his side to face me. I expect him to ask me what I’m talking about, but he doesn’t say a word. He just stares into my eyes and waits.

---