Page 93 of Taming Liberty

“Hola, Papá.”

I watch them for only a few moments before leaving the room. I tell myself it’s to give Sam space, and in part it is. But it’s so much more than that.

I must be a weaker man than Sam because my eyes sting, and I rub my lids with my thumb and index finger.

An hour must go by before Sam reappears. His eyes are red, and he doesn’t look at me as he heads for the stairs. I go to follow him but stop, my gaze moving to Dario’s closed door.

Sam looks back at me expectantly.

I blow out a big breath. “Can you give me just a minute?”

He nods and turns, hiding his tears.

My stomach twists into knots when I enter the room, and my legs try to anchor me to the hardwood with their weight. I force myself toward him, stepping in front of the window.

His eyes don’t meet mine, but they’re open. They seem to stare through me, never blinking, never so much as twitching. He’s neatly groomed, his clothes seem fresh, and although fifteen years have passed and it seems impossible for him to still be alive … he still looks like Dario.

“Hello, confrade,” I whisper, my voice weak. “I’ve missed you.”

His eyes never move, and if it wasn’t for his chest rising and falling with his breaths, he’d look like a fresh corpse.

A tear leaks from my eye, and I let it slide down my face.

“I want you to know that Julia is okay. She’s remarried to a man who could never be as good as you but who seems decent enough. I don’t know if Sam told you, but he has a little brother named Adán. I uh…”

I breathe through a quake in my chest and close my eyes. “I haven’t let them struggle, and I never will. I promise you.”

I’m sorry.

I say it in my mind, but I can’t get it out. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll sob.

I wipe my hand over my face, collecting tears in the process, then I take a step to Dario’s side. I bend down to kiss his forehead, my feet pointed toward the door. “I love you, confrade.”

I walk toward the door but stop halfway, my head tilting toward the ceiling as I close my eyes.

When I open them, I look at my brother over my shoulder, summoning all the strength I have.

“I’m so sorry I did this to you,” I whisper. I stare for a moment, searching for some semblance of my brother. His body is there, but he’s gone.

When my phone buzzes in my pocket, I face forward, wiping my face once more before pulling it out. It’s Sawyer, asking when I’ll be back. It doesn’t surprise me that he’d be overwhelmed.

I clear my throat and type out a reply, telling him to give me one more day.

I needed this. I needed to come here, and I needed to purge, and I needed to face shit I’ve put off all my adult life. I’m not quite ready to leave, but I know it’s time to get back. It’s only a matter of time before Sawyer sends everything we’ve worked for up in flames.

ThatI’veworked for. I’m beginning to see that more and more, but I refuse to read into everything else Lib said about him. I’ve lost her. It’s likely I’m about to lose him too.

I put my phone in my pocket, then throw one last look over my shoulder at my childhood hero.

My feet carry me into the hall, and I leave with my nephew, no idea if I’ll ever be back.

21

Lib

“Do you want me to go in with you?” Peter asks as he parks on the side of the street.

I stare at the door of my old home which is a few houses up from us. It’s early morning, and the sun barely kisses the tops of the trees planted in patches of sidewalk to make the city feel less like a factory. After being on the island for months, I see this place in a new light, and it no longer feels like home. I’m not sure it ever did.

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