Page 4 of A New Arrival at Cwtch Cove

‘He mentioned it back in July but then Tarquin and I didn’t hear any more about it and thought he’d changed his mind. But three weeks ago, out of the blue, he said it had sold.’

‘Didn’t you have the option to stay with the new owner?’

‘We did but… see… things are tough for dentists right now and I was already having some doubts about my direction but the new owner is into offering cosmetic treatments too. And, Mum, you know me, I only ever wanted to be a dentist and so I told her I couldn’t do it. Tarquin felt the same as me.’

‘What did the new owner say?’

‘That there was no room for compromise and if I wanted to stay on at the practice, I’d have to train to give Botox and filler injections and… ugh… I don’t want to do any of that.’

Trudy reached out a hand and squeezed Alice’s arm. ‘I don’t blame you, lovely. Not at all. I am sorry to hear that you’ve been having some doubts about your job though.’

‘I know. I think I’m a bit burnt out to be honest. In other news… the lease on my flat was coming to an end and I thought there was no point renewing it if I didn’t have a job in Exeter. I meant to tell you about it but I felt so ashamed. I was also going to tell you that I was coming home and give you some warning, but when I woke this morning I felt so awful I knew I couldn’t wait another day.’

‘Why, Alice?’

Trudy looked at her daughter. Her skin was waxy, her normally shiny brown hair hung lankly around her face. There were shadows under her brown eyes and she seemed to have lost weight.

‘Because you work so hard and you put me through uni and you’ve always said that a woman has to work twice as hard as a man to get on and… because I wasn’t prepared to compromise at work. Perhaps I should have just gone along with it and trained how to do the cosmetic procedures. Perhaps compromise is the only way but… oh, Mum, I don’t know. I just feel exhausted.’

‘It does sound like you’ve burnt out.’ Trudy knew it could happen to people, especially to those who worked in NHS positions like dentists and doctors, nurses and paramedics to name but a few.

Alice looked up and held her gaze. ‘You know what, Mum, I think I might have. I would have kept going if Harold hadn’t sold the practice but knowing that things were going to change so dramatically along with feeling disillusioned about dentistry anyway made me wonder if it was even what I wanted to do anymore.’

A lump of emotion rose in Trudy ’s throat. Alice had always been sure that she wanted to be a professional, that she wanted to go to university, and she’d become interested in dentistry after doing her work experience with a dentist when she was a teenager. So to know that she’d come to this and that her dream job was not what she’d hoped it would be was terribly upsetting.

‘Well you’re home now, sweetheart, and you can take some time to rest and recover, to decide what else it is that you want to do with your life. You never know, given time you might decide to continue working as a dentist but at a different practice. I’m sure many practices would be grateful to have you. But… that’s not for you to decide now. You should enjoy being back in Cwtch Cove. It will do you good to rest, walk on the beach and sleep a lot because goodness knows you look like you need to sleep. In fact, Alice Gray, you look absolutely exhausted.’

Alice sighed and rubbed her face then sat back in her chair. ‘I am exhausted, Mum. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and it’s worrying me. I’m twenty-eight but I feel like I’m eighty-eight. Is that just burnout?’

‘Stress and worry can make you feel that way. Perhaps we should get you to the GP to have some blood tests done. Just to make sure it’s not anaemia or something.’

Fear stirred in Trudy’s belly. Since the moment she’d known she was pregnant with Alice, she’d worried about her. It was like a cavern of anxiety had opened up in the ground in front of her and she teetered on the edge of it daily, terrified that at some point she’d tumble in and disappear. If anything ever happened to Alice, Trudy knew she couldn’t bear it. Motherhood was like that, she thought, filled with fear that something would happen to your child and that you’d be unable to help them. Until she’d had Alice, she’d been ignorant about the ferocity and intensity of maternal love. She’d loved, of course, her husband had been everything to her for a long time, but a mother’s love for her child was a different type of love altogether. It was deep and raw and fierce and powerful. She’d give her life for Alice, give her the whole world if she could. Therefore, seeing Alice thin and pale and knowing she was unhappy with the direction her career had taken her was enough to cause an ache in Trudy’s heart that would only ease when she knew Alice was OK once more.

‘I’m sure I’ll be fine, Mum.’ Alice smiled but Trudy noted that it didn’t reach her eyes. The familiar sparkle in Alice’s eyes was missing and that made her heart sink to the tiled floor.

Alice picked up her mug and took a sip then she winced. ‘Ooh. Is the milk off?’

‘I don’t think so.’ Trudy tried to remember when she’d bought it. ‘I’ll check later. Don’t drink it if it doesn’t taste right though. Last thing we want is you throwing up and losing even more weight. I’ll make a mint tea instead for now.’

‘Thanks, Mum.’

Trudy got up from the table and picked up both mugs, took them to the sink and swilled them out. While the kettle boiled, she was conscious of something nagging at her edges but she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. There was something going on with Alice and she thought it was to do with more than losing her job. At least Alice was home now so Trudy could take care of her and help her to get back on her feet. Some rest, good home cooking and TLC would soon sort Alice out, she was sure of it.

Mint tea made, she turned around to take the mugs back to the table but to her surprise, Alice was resting her head on her arms on the table and from her gentle snores, it seemed that she had fallen fast asleep.

‘Poor baby girl,’ Trudy said softly, then she got her fleecy jacket from the peg by the door and draped it around Alice’s shoulders. ‘You’ll be OK now, lovely. Mum’s here. Mum’s got your back.’

She pressed a gentle kiss to Alice’s cheek then sat down again, watching her daughter as she slept in the way she’d done when Alice was a little girl. But then, she thought, Alice would always be her little girl. Nothing was going to change that. Not ever. And nothing would ever change how much she loved Alice and would do anything in her power to make her happy.

Chapter5

Alice

Alice wrapped a towel around her head then opened the bathroom releasing a cloud of coconut scented steam onto the landing and crossed the floorboards to her room. She hadn’t been back to her mum’s home in Cwtch Cove for about eighteen months, which seemed bad now she thought about it, but she’d been busy and her mum had been busy and the time had flown. She had seen her mum in that time but it wasn’t the same as being home, in the pretty, cosy little cottage her mum had bought when Alice was twelve.

She rubbed the towel over her hair then draped it on the radiator and reached for her comb. While she combed her hair, she went to the window that overlooked the rear garden of the cottage. The sun was shining and it looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. Her mum had been awake early, Alice had heard her going into the bathroom then descending the stairs and talking to the cats in the kitchen. The funny thing about her mum talking to the cats was that Clawdia and Catmila seemed to talk back and Alice could hear their meows from her room above the kitchen. It was like the three of them, completely black Clawdia and silver-grey Catmila, were having a dialogue down there and Alice had realised how much she’d missed the sounds of home.

She lowered the comb from her hair and smiled. Out on the grass, the cats were playing with something like they were kittens again. Considering that they were both twelve, she found their energy levels and playfulness fascinating and watched as they seemed to pass whatever it was between them, jumping and springing about as they pawed excitedly at it. A horrid thought hit her then, that perhaps they had a mouse or a bird, so she decided to go down and check if she could rescue the poor creature from being tortured.

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