Page 65 of Thanking Her Brother's Best Friends

"You're a very cute hedgehog," Niall mused, stroking the stubble on his chin. "It's an uncanny resemblance, though. The little suckers in the wild always curl up into balls and have their spikes out when they feel threatened.”

His tone softened. "But we're not trying to threaten or even question what you do as a mom, Selene. There can be no better parent than you for your kid. No one can know the ins and outs of his heart or what makes him tick. Ollie is such a precious little boy. He just—sometimes, all of us need help. Even him, even you. And that's where we come in."

A torrential wave of emotions was washing over me. I could tell that I'd burst like an overburdened dam at any second, and I did not want to be around the boys when that happened.

"Can you... I'm sorry," I mumbled, wringing my fingers. "I know I promised to make dinner, but the time and my energy have just slipped away from me. Can you sit with Ollie for a little while? I'll just go take a quick shower and come back."

"Don't worry about dinner." Dom checked his watch. "You go freshen up, and we'll hold the fort down."

I gave him a grateful nod and got up from the armchair. Thoughts of Dave and how different he had been with Ollie followed me all the way upstairs to my room and to the shower. I waited until the first stream of ice-cold water hit my bare skin before letting the tears fall freely.

Dave had never—he could never be what these guys were trying to be for Ollie, not once in all the years he'd stayed.

Thankfully, the team of nannies I had for Ollie had more or less been around ever since he turned three, and I knew I could rely on all of them. But none of it sufficed for his absence, even though his physical presence loomed large in the halls of our old home.

He just wasn'tthere.

What if these guys ended up leaving too? My mind felt like a jumbled jigsaw of mismatched pieces, and the more I tried to move the pieces around, the more it hurt.

I'd convinced myself that what we had was fine for the time being. That love wasn't right, not when it had never been.

But... there was this tiny, persistent, and terribly irritating voice in the back of my head going "What if?" I wanted to take that voice out and kick the shit out of it. But I also wanted an answer.

I finished showering, put on a change of clothes, and headed down. The living room was empty. I heard the clink of cutlery and cheerful voices coming from the kitchen and dining space.

My lips curled into a little smile as I narrowed in on Ollie's excited chirp. He was telling the boys about his day and how he wanted to learn to play hockey and also become the world's best assassin, like John Wick, spurred by the righteous need to avenge lost wives and puppies. Oh, well.

"Hey, Aiden, have you ever played hockey? It seems so cool!"

Aiden leaned forward, a gentle smile on his face. "Oh, buddy, I used to play hockey back in the day. I was a fan of the Boston Bruins, one of the most popular teams here. You know what? I'd be honored to teach you. We'll start with the basics, and soon enough, you'll be gliding on the ice like the legendary Bobby Orr! I can totally see you going to Harvard and kicking some serious butt in the hockey team! Our boy's gonna go all the way!"

"To the Beanpot tournament?" Ollie asked, his eyes flashing excitedly.

I stood in the shadows, my left hand unconsciously over my heart. How quickly was my little boy growing up? I knew he loved sports, but I didn't know how hard.

Suddenly, the desolation in me amped up. I couldn't fucking teach my boy hockey, and that felt like the end of the world.

Hell, I could teach him to make the best confit duck and braised potatoes, but put me on ice and I'd fall flat and break my nose.

Did this mean I wasn't enough?

I tried to make sense of the lump in my throat. "Oh, Ollie," I murmured.

Dom, his voice filled with affection, added, "Oliver, you're going to love it. Hockey creates friendships and unforgettable memories. Just imagine yourself skating on the ice, scoring goals like the great players of the Bruins!"

Oliver's eyes widened, his excitement growing. "And can we also play basketball?" he asked eagerly, turning to Niall.

Niall chuckled and shook his head. "No basketball for hockey players, my little buddy. But we can always shoot some hoops together. We'll work on your dribbling skills, passing like a pro, and sinking those shots like a Boston Celtics player!"

I could just see my boy's sweet face light up with joy. He'd probably dream about donning the jerseys of the Bruins and the Celtics all night long.

"Selene, what're you doing, sulking over there?" Niall looked up and saw me hiding like a thief in my own home. "Come here."

I stepped across the threshold into the suddenly quiet room, feeling like I'd broken the liveliness that had characterized it just a second ago.

Then, Ollie turned to me with his Bambi eyes and said, "Hey, Mommy, d'you wanna learn hockey too?" and the world was okay again.

My boy didn't want to do this separately from me. He wanted me to be a part of all of it. My heart swelled as I sat down beside him and planted a kiss on the top of his head.

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