Page 100 of Thanking Her Brother's Best Friends

"We—"

"Ben," I tried again, this time with patience that I did not feel. "Aiden, Dom, Niall, and I—we're in a relationship. And we're getting married. At least" —I sighed— "Aiden and I are. The others are part of it too."

"What?" Ben was the broken recorder now. "What? Part of what?"

I wrung my hands in a frustrated attempt to make sense. "We love each other, okay? And we're... we're together."

"You mean... all of you? Like you're—you're with my three best friends? Selene!" Ben jumped up from his chair. "What nonsense is this? One was bad enough, but you—THREE OF THEM?"

"Stop talking to her like she's a criminal, Ben," Aiden said, rising from his chair and moving close to mine. I was surprised by the menacing threat in his voice. "She doesn't deserve what you're doing to her."

"AND WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME HOW I SHOULD TALK TO MY SISTER? YOU BASTARD!" Ben launched himself at Aiden.

The next second felt like a live action rendition of the cartoons where the main characters got lost in a cloud of dust as they fought each other. It took Abigail's screams to make Ben stop.

"Get out," he finally said, rubbing his bruised chin. "All of you. I've put up with enough nonsense from you over the years, Selene. But this is the last straw."

"Boys, give me a minute with my brother. Take Ollie and wait in the car."

Niall fetched Ollie from the kitchen, and they took him out.

"I don't have anything more to say to you." Ben averted his gaze from me.

"But I do," I said passionately, finally allowing myself to cry. "I have so many things to say to you, Ben, because I know you as the boy who loved me enough to be the only one to make me believe in myself when no one did."

"You should leave, Selene," Abigail said shrilly.

"BITCH, GO BACK INSIDE AND SHUT UP!"

"Selene!" Ben rounded on me, his expression horrified. "You can't talk to Abigail that way!"

Abigail had already vanished from the spot. I could hear her wailing somewhere in the distance. Good.

"Ben," I said, my voice trembling. "For the last few years, you have only ever let people come between us. Mom, your wife, Dave, for crying out loud. Every time I tell you something, I have to put my Ben filter on. Is this good enough for Ben? Will this hurt Ben? Can Ben take this? And I'm fucking tired."

Ben's expression became steely. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

"Did you know the extent of damage that's been done to our relationship?" I tossed my hands around frantically.

"Ben,Dave was an abuser, for crying out loud.He physically abused me. He told me he deserved a better life than being stuck with Olliewhen Ollie was still in the same room. I could never fucking tell you any of this because, oh,how will my brother take it?"

"Selene, what?" Ben took a quick step toward me, concernin his eyes, but I stepped back.

He wasn't Ben anymore. He looked like poison, yes.

Sweet, raw, hurtful poison, the link to more pain and hurt that had been caused to me than I deserved.

"You didn't think," I said, blinking through the curtain of tears. "And then, Abigail—oh, God. She told me, at your wedding, that I'd catch a husband soon enough. What century are we living in? You know how she talks about me and the kind of life I lead. You fucking know everything, but if you couldseeit, you'd also know that you're not happy with her. God, it's so obvious.

I shook my head. "But you needed to convince yourself that marriage is the most virtuous thing, even if it's downright the shittiest part of your life. And it's not enough for you to convince yourself, so you need to do that to me too. You won't stop to see that this—what I have with the boys—" My voice broke.

"Is the happiest I've been in my whole fucking life. For once, I feel like I'm in love and I'm safe and I won't be beaten, abused, or tossed around like junk. But you'll only see what others will say, won't you? Because my happiness, my love, my desire to fucking be safe? That's not enough for you. That was never enough for you."

I turned on my heels and stormed to the door. "I'd want nothing more than for you to be involved in my life and that of my kids. But this, Ben? All the time, I kept wondering if I would ever be good enough to be part of your family. Guess what? I'm done trying. I don't know ifyou'regood enough, Ben. Have a great life. I'm sorry to have been nothing but a pain in your ass."

As I ran to my car, I could hear Ben say some incoherent, jumbled sentences. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to hear anymore. I got into the car. Niall was in the driving seat. Bless him.

"Let's go home."

---