Page 54 of A Court of Fire and Frost

Chapter21

Naked As The Day Your Mother Birthed You

NATHANIEL

There is no way that people enjoy doing this, I think to myself after a few hours of flying across the icy ocean.

The novelty of shifting has worn off relatively quickly, and I am left repulsed by my own instincts. Every time I see a fish, I have to fight the urge not to plunge down and devour it. I hate fish when I’m in my regular Fae form. I have no desire to feel what it would be like to slide it down this small, bone-crushing beak.

I’m left with mental images and sensations instead of conscious thoughts. My body reacts, and I gag. Luckily my wings flap just fine. It seems that all those months at the gym give me some strength in this form, but I have no endurance.

I constantly feel too big for my body.

Am I flying for a purpose? Yes.

Have I hyper-focused on completing that task and forgotten to eatandsleep? Also yes.

Gods above, I am a mess.I swerve to the right and somehow manage to roll my bird eyes.

I am soaring above the landscape, the wind beneath my wings propelling me closer to my destination. Sunlight glints off my feathers, and I stretch my wings even wider.

But then, in the distance, I notice another bird in the sky. It is a large white bird, barreling through the air with fierce determination. I watch as it closes in until I recognize the unmistakable silhouette of a snowy owl.

Shit. Ospreys are predators, but they have natural enemies. Pure instinct tells me that this is one of them.

I flap my wings and rise in elevation, trying to leave the owl behind. The large puff of white feathers veers up toward me. My wings tense, and I tuck my feet in tighter to my body in case I need to swerve to the side. The bird is likely hunting, which could be dangerous.

This is bad. Very, very bad.

I am a terrible bird. Maybe I should’ve spent more time practicing this form.

Not the time, I chide myself.

I veer to the left, trying to get out of its way. My heart pounds as I realize the owl has adjusted its course to match.

It’s only a hundred paces away and moving fast. Even in my terror, I can’t help but admire the rapidly approaching creature. The feathers are so stark-white that it looks like a flying snowball. The black-brown speckles that line its face define the predator within. It looks like the animal you see winning a photo contest on social media, not something that exists in real life.

I would’ve sat and admired it longer if it wasn’t about to crash into me.

My animal brain short-circuits, and I stop flapping my wings.

Mistake.

My steady flight turns into a free dive straight into the icy water. Thick, preened feathers help protect me from the bitter cold. Under the water, my eyes sting from the salt as I momentarily glimpse the blue-green water around me.

…Now what?

I have no plan, and there is little time to consider making one before a pair of claws grabs my back. I am yanked from the icy ocean. The snow owl's talons hold my body in a vice grip as my muscles strain and contort to reach the predator’s claws, but the effort was futile.

A feeling of embarrassment engulfs me while desperation and dread flood my chest. The words "I am going to die" echo in my mind as we fly over the dark, tumultuous sea.

I stop fighting.

This is it.

The wind whistles in my ears as we fly higher and higher, and I accept the truth: I’m not the hero I thought I was. I had tried, but I wasn't powerful enough to save myself.

I have been a pathetic, delusional fool.

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