* * *
I lay in my bed,tears streaming down my face. The anxiety that had been building over the past few days overwhelmed me. I tried to focus on the good things, but it was impossible to break through the gray haze. All I could think of was the wedding, our marriage, and a baby on the way before we had even gotten the chance to be together properly.
One thought kept reappearing: I was doomed to end up like my mother—a lying, hiding woman with a little one she couldn’t support.
My tears eventually gave way to exhaustion, but sleep refused to come. I thought of Magda and wished she could be here with me. She had made going through all this so much easier back when we were children. But now she was gone, off with Santiago, and I was alone.
Finally, Adalaida came into my room and gently nudged me awake. She was a pushy woman, but I didn't mind just now.
"Come on," she whispered, "it's time to go."
I followed her out of the room, feeling like a puppet on strings as we strolled through the street filled with people shouting and cheering for La Chica Dorada, their golden girl who had survived the Blood Tournament like no one had before.
I would remind them Santiago was also a Campeón, and they would politely agree. But he wasn't golden; he wasn't everyone's shining star. I worried about him. If he was going through even a fraction of what I was, he was hurting.
We drove to the spa, where I was subjected to exfoliating creams and hot stone massages that soothed my skin until it glowed with a new radiance.
When they asked about my stump, I hissed at them—then apologized.
This was all a facade. No amount of polish, no matter how expensive, could fix the fear lodged in my chest.
As I lay there, I couldn't help but think about what kind of life I was signing up for. A life where I had no agency, where my every wish and desire would be second to Antonio's. I knew what was expected of me as his wife, but the thought of being nothing more than a broodmare filled me with dread.
Eventually, I was ushered out of the spa and back to Antonio's estate. Isolda was waiting for me with a dress that was even more stunning than the last, and I allowed her to dress me without protest. I didn't care what I looked like; it was all meaningless.
Adalaida took me out for dinner, but the food tasted like ash in my mouth, and the wine did nothing to ease my worries. I felt as if I were walking through a dream, one that I couldn't escape from. The night air was cold and thick with the scent of flowers as they rolled me through the streets. I caught glimpses of people staring at me before they started whispering.
I was grateful for Adalaida’s conversation, but I couldn’t focus on anything she was saying. All I could think of was the wedding and the life ahead of me; a dark, bleak, and painful life where every day would be a reminder of the love I had lost and the life I could have had.
As we approached the estate, I saw a limousine parked out front. I felt dread as I realized that this must be Antonio’s friend Son. As Javier and Manuel helped me into my chair and then pushed me to the house, I could hear laughter and clinking glasses coming from the formal dining room.
I could feel my heart racing and my palms sweat. I knew tonight would be the last time I would have any real freedom. After the wedding, I would be trapped in a life I didn’t want, with a man I didn’t trust.
"Should we take you to see Señor Castillas?" Manuel asked.
I winced at how loud he was, and just I shook my head. “No, gracias." I could meet Son tomorrow.
But Antonio appeared in the doorway. He held a glass of wine in his hand and looked devastatingly handsome. What would the girl who loved him think of me now?
For some reason, the night I had slept in his bed flickered to life when I saw the flush in his cheeks.
"Where are you going?" His voice was husky.
I forced a smile. "I'm tired. I'll see you tomorrow."
He stepped forward, but I called over my shoulder, "Buenas noches, Antonio."
I grabbed onto the new rail which Antonio had installed, and then Javier steadied my other arm.
"I'll do that," Antonio grumbled.
I shook my head, blushing. "No. You have a party to go to. In fact, you shouldn't even see me right now."
I laughed at the ridiculousness of what I'd said, as if this were a proper marriage and not some mandated cage for a monster.
His jaw tightened. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
I nodded once and then started hopping up the steps with my bodyguards’ help.