Page 63 of A Lesson In Beginning

“That’s fair. Just know it’s there for you, should you need or want it.”

“So is that it, then? I just can’t do this?”

“Not at all. I would talk with Joel and see what the two of you can come up with. Communication is the key here.”

“You sound like Joel. He says that quite often.” I gave her a small smile.

“It’s a tenant of good BDSM practice. Communication, trust, consent, and safety.”

“I’m learning that quickly.”

“Perhaps he would be willing to host.”

“To have our scenes at his home?” It was an option I hadn’t considered before.

“Yes.”

“Is that safe?”

“That’s a question only you can truly answer. Levi and I can help you talk with Joel if you wish, and set it up so you feel safe. But ultimately, it’s your choice on whether you feel safe enough to have a scene in his home. Have you reached out to him today? Spoken to him at all?”

“We have texted a few times, but I think you’re right. I think it’s time to talk to him about this. I don’t want to wait on it any longer than I have to. And anyway, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable trying to have this talk during our work hours tomorrow, or trying to fit it into one of our breaks.”

“That’s a fair point. Why don’t you text him and see if you two can talk later this evening?”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll do that now. Then I need to get back to this graphics project. I refuse to let it defeat me.”

“Your determination has always been spectacular, Adah. And I know you’re going to be brilliant at this. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, I think I know what I’m doing now. It’s just a matter of practicing. Having this thingy — the rat?”

“The mouse.”

“Right, having the mouse will help me more than anything else.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it, then.”

“Oh, Ruth? I wanted to ask you something. I’d like to watch Theo for an evening and give you and Levi a date night. Samuel and I being here has been an inconvenience at the best of times, I know. Please allow me to do something kind in return.”

“Adah, you have done so much already. You help with the housework, the childcare, and you’re helping at the club, even. You don’t need to do anything else.”

“But I want to. Please allow me this kindness.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to Levi and we’ll plan a night. Only if you’re sure. Theo is teething, and can be quite the handful.”

“I’ve raised two children — er — well, you know what I mean. Teething doesn’t scare me. And it’s one night.”

“Alright, then.” She walked towards the door, leaving me to my laptop and the utter headache that was getting started in graphic design, but paused before she left the room. “Adah?”

“Yes?” I turned towards her, noting her hesitation.

“I’m really glad you’re here. I’ve missed my sister.”

We shared a small smile, both of us knowing exactly what the other was saying, even in the silence. I couldn’t have agreed more. I was beyond happy to have my sister back. And moreover, to have a family again.

CHAPTER 19

More nerves than I thought possible bubbled inside me as I waited for Joel to arrive that evening. I had texted him earlier in the day, at Ruth’s urging, and asked him if we could meet and talk about last night. I had thought he would be busy or frustrated by the distraction. But he had readily agreed, asking if it could wait until this evening after dinner.

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