Page 59 of A Lesson In Beginning

“But you didn’t want to continue.” Where was this dejection coming from? He was right; this was what we had discussed, but all I could think of was the pang of rejection that reverberated through my chest.

“Now, you wait one damn minute, beautiful girl.” He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear gently. “If you think for one solitary second that I do not want to continue, you could not be more wrong.”

“No?”

“No. And if you are questioning that, let me make it abundantly clear for you now. I want nothing more than to rip every piece of clothing from your body, cuff your hands to the headboard, and have my way with you. I want to touch, kiss, lick, bite, and absolutely torture every inch of your body with more pleasure than you ever thought possible. I want to make it so the only thought in your mind is of me, and the pleasure I give you.”

There was no room for argument in his tone. His eyes roved over my body, slowly, languidly, until he met my gaze again.

“I want you, love. More than you could possibly know.”

“Are you sure?”

“Beyond sure. Achingly sure. And I will show you next time, should you want to continue.”

“Oh, I do!”

“You say that now, and I believe you. But let’s talk about that in a few days, when we are both out of the moment and can think a little more clearly. But, before we call it a night, will you allow me to give you aftercare?”

“Yes, Joel. I will.” He moved over to sit beside me, both of us curling up as his arms wrapped around me. I pushed any other thoughts from my mind, allowing him to bring me back to reality. In truth, it felt more like he was bringing me back to life.

CHAPTER 18

It was an odd skill, trying to master the hand-eye coordination of the mouse pad, and make the cursor move on the screen before me. Levi and Ruth had purchased me a laptop, so I could continue training myself in graphic design. It had seemed easy enough when I was making logos and designs on the iPad, but the computer program was so much more detailed and confusing. So many buttons that did this or that, or places that led to other places. It felt slightly impossible, though to hear Levi talk about it, I was doing quite well for my first week on the machine. But this damned mouse pad was going to be the death of me.

“How’s it going?” I glanced over the top of the laptop screen to see Ruth’s head peeking into my bedroom door, a big smile on her face.

“Well, I haven’t committed murder, so I suppose it could be worse.” My sarcasm was not lost on her, though I could not seem to care enough to choose kinder words. Not when the clicky thing wouldn’t move to the button thing, or let me click in just the right spot to do the thing I needed it to do.

“Well, not committing murder is definitely a plus. Can I help?” She opened the door wider as I groaned, rubbing my eyes with utter frustration.

“What seems to be the matter with the laptop?”

“I keep clicking the wrong thing, or moving it too fast, or bumping it with my hand as I try to type. It’s maddening.”

“Oh, that’s an easy fix!”

“It is? Because I am starting to feel like this was a horrible idea, and a waste of your hard-earned money.”

“Not at all. Give me just a moment.” She bounded out of the room, only to return a few minutes later with a small plastic — thing in her hand. “May I see the laptop?”

I nodded, sliding it over to her across the bed. She slipped a piece into the side of the computer and then used the plastic contraption to move around. A few clicks later and she was finished, it would seem.

“There. All done. Try it now, but use this.” She handed me a book, setting the plastic item on it. “It’s a mouse, just like the pad on the laptop, but it’s much easier to control, in my opinion.”

“Won’t I still mess with it if I bump the pad, though?”

“No, I changed the settings and turned the mouse pad off, so that you don’t have to worry about it. See?” Shifting the computer so we could both see it, she showed me how the thing — the mouse — worked.

I quickly grabbed the laptop, swiveling it around to me and clicking around.

“Oh my word, this is so much easier! Thank you!” I lept from the bed, wrapping my arms around her in an excited hug.

“Oh, it’s — Oh! You haven’t hugged me this hard in years!” She laughed, hugging me back.

“I don’t think you understand how close to violence I was with this abhorrent thing.”

“I’m happy to help. Can I do anything else?”

---