Page 101 of A Lesson In Beginning

“My sentiments exactly. But, with the help of Levi and his lawyer, I’ve already filed a restraining order. I know we are safe. He isn’t even up for parole for another ten years, and, honestly, it’s unlikely that it’ll be granted at all. But the restraining order at least gave me some peace of mind.”

“I’m sure it did. And I’m glad you took that step.”

“Joel, what I wanted you to understand is that I get it now. I understand I am no longer married, and moreover, that the marriage I had was based on nothing but lies, violence, and abuse. I’m free. For the first time in my entire life, I realize that I’m free to do as I please, to raise my son as I wish… and to be with who I actually want to be with.”

His eyes lifted from where our hands joined, hope shining brightly in those brilliant, sapphire depths.

“And who is it you want to be with, Adah?” His cautious tone could not hide the hope he held in that moment.

“I want to be with you.”

“You are ready to continue our dynamic?” A smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Kind of.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“It means that I do want our dynamic to continue, but I don’t just want that.” With a deep breath, I grasped onto the courage I needed as tightly as possible. “Joel, I have feelings for you. Feelings that go far beyond simply learning more about kink. That’s what happened the last time we scened. I felt my heart open up to you, my soul ripped open wide by the beautiful experience we shared, and the truth of it hit me so hard I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t face it. I couldn’t handle wanting so much and feeling so trapped by my past. But I’m ready now. I’m ready for this. For us. For you.”

A single moment passed in utter silence before he reached for me, his hand gently cupping my face as his lips met mine in possibly the sweetest kiss we had ever shared. It was full of promise, full of hope, and full of all the feelings that I felt for him.

He pressed his forehead against mine, our kiss ending as our breath still mingled.

“You’re sure?” His hesitation made me smile.

“I’m beyond sure, Joel. But I would like to know your thoughts on the matter.”

“That kiss didn’t tell you? Perhaps I should try again.” He leaned in to kiss me again, but I pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him away by just an inch.

“Please tell me? What is it you always say? Use your words.” He chuckled, but the smile that lit up his face helped to ease the pain of all the trauma I had processed over the last weeks and months.

“I want the same with you, Adah. From the moment you entered my life, I knew you were different. I felt pulled to you. I had to get to know you. And when you accepted my offer to learn about kink, I took it without a second thought. It just felt right. But over the last several months, as I’ve gotten to know you better, I started to feel like more than your friend, more than your possible Dominant. I wanted more. But I didn’t dare ask. I had hoped to talk about it when we began our dynamic, but then everything changed, and I have been waiting as patiently as I could to hear what your final decision would be.”

“I still need to go slowly, and I hope that is okay. But I would very much like to start our dynamic up again. Officially, this time.” The smile on my face made my cheeks hurt, and I didn’t care one bit.

“Will you wait here? Just for a moment. I promise.” I nodded my head as he jumped up from the couch and ran towards the stairs. “Don’t move a muscle. I’ll be right back.”

Giggling as his feet thundered up the stairs and off to his bedroom, I waited patiently for whatever it was he was doing. Moments later, he ran back down the stairs and was at my side again with something held behind his back.

“I want to do this right.” He cleared his throat, his nerves blatantly written in both his posture and his words. Pulling a black box from behind his back, he spoke. “Adah Price, will you do me the honor of becoming my submissive? Officially and truly? Will you allow me the honor of guiding you through the desires we both share? To learn and grow together with light and laughter, and so much pleasure neither of us may survive it?”

Tears pricked at my eyes as I took in his words. He opened the black box to reveal a simple, but beautiful, gold necklace. “This is the collar I picked out for you.”

“I thought collars were all leather and chains?” I asked, touching the open circle pendant in the center lightly.

“A collar is whatever you make it to be. But I chose this for you. It felt fitting.”

“When did you do this, Joel?”

“After our first scene, months ago, at the club. That very next day, I went out in search of the perfect one. It took me three different stores to find this one, but when I saw it, I knew it was the perfect collar for you.”

“It’s absolutely gorgeous. I… Joel, I don’t deserve this.”

“You deserve this and more. Now, would you mind giving me your answer? I’m kinda dying over here.” We both laughed for a moment as I nodded.

“Yes, Joel. I would love to be your submissive. Please put it on me? Make me your wildfire, officially.” With a whoop of excitement, he took the necklace out of the box and affixed it around my neck. The open circle fell just below the hollow of my throat, the chain dainty and beautiful. It was perfect. This was perfect. And I could not wait to begin again. This time, it would be with my Sir at my side.

CHAPTER 28

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