Page 5 of Her Second Chance

I’m beautiful.

Grace looks at me through the one eye she’s pried open. “You’ve definitely looked better,” she teases.

I open my mouth to explain when the phone on the desk rings.

She groans, rolling over and pulling her pillow over her head. “Can you please tell your mom that calling on Saturday morning before ten is strictly forbidden?”

The answering machine clicks on, and I hear both of us singing No Doubt’s Spiderwebs, telling the caller to leave a message.

Beep.

“Hannah, honey, it’s Mom. I hope you’re not still in bed, wasting the day away. Your father was at the Jameson’s yesterday and said Andrew is home on leave. You should call him. Any who, I’m off to my book club. This week we read a book about teenage vampires in the Pacific Northwest. I’ll put my copy of it in the mail to you. Let me know if you need new underpants. Call me when you get this. Love you, sweetie.”

Beep.

Grace laughs, the sound muffled by her comforter. “Underpants?”

I forgot how energetic my mother was before her bout with breast cancer. She was never the same after chemo. She still rises with the sun and makes my dad three hearty meals a day, but she doesn’t get out and socialize like she used to. I wish I’d spent more time with her when she was more active, that I’d answered her calls once in a while. My parents and I have never been close. They don’t understand my need to leave rural Oklahoma. Their vision for me has always been to marry the neighbor boy and eventually merge our ranches. No, thank you.

Clearly, I’m dreaming. That’s the only explanation. I fell asleep trying to find out about Jason and now I’m having this nostalgic dream of the ‘good ole days’.

That’s it!

I’m dreaming about the best time in my life, which means he’s bound to show up in this false reality if Grace already has. If this is a dream, I’m going to make the most of it. Who knows how long I have before I wake up?

“Let’s go to The Bean,” I tell Grace. Jason loved to hang out there when we were freshman, so that’s probably where he is right now.

“Okay, but I’m not showering.”

“Me neither.” I forgot how I used to roll out of bed, throw on a hoodie, tie my hair up in a bun, and go places. Hunter would die if he saw me right now. I’m wearing pajama bottoms with Santas and a fraternity date party t-shirt that’s two sizes too big. All I need is a bra, and this is good enough.

We get ready in record time, singing to Grace’s hangover playlist on her iPod. When did they stop making those things? For a dream, this all feels so real. Last night’s tequila sure did a number on me. It’s almost like Déjà vu. I feel awake, reliving the same day I lived over a decade ago.

Weird.

After catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror before we walk out the door, I have to force myself not to change clothes or put on makeup. College me wasn’t vapid or concerned with her appearance like I am now. Back then I lived in the present. Living in the dorms and then the sorority house were some of the best years of my life. If I’m dreaming of this time in my life, I’m going to be true to myself and stop trying to be some perfect shell of myself like I was for Hunter.

Grace laments about her boyfriend, Cory, as we walk across campus to the coffee shop located in the basement of one of the dormitories. They tore the thing down a few years ago to build on-campus apartments. I have a lot of great memories here. Most of them involving. . .

Jason?

Standing at the entrance to The Bean is the guy I fell asleep Googling, as if thinking about him was enough to conjure his appearance, which I’m sure was the point of me making this trek, so I shouldn’t be surprised to see him.

I guess it makes sense for me to dream about him. Dizziness hits me when he turns, and our eyes meet. His mouth ticks up on one side, and I recognize the smirk he used to give when he found something interesting. I feel jittery and shaky, like I could vomit. Though that might be more from last night’s bender than anything else. Well, that and the fact that I look like total crap. New Hannah is struggling to get used to being old Hannah again.

“Who is that?” Grace asks, crinkling her nose in distaste when she notices our prolonged eye contact. Jason is definitely not the type of guy she likes.

“That’s—”

“Where the fuck did you go last night?” A deep voice booms behind us, making me jump.

I whip around to find Grace’s boyfriend Cory frowning at her.

She shoots me an apologetic look and a shrug. “I’ll meet you inside.”

I nod, eager to turn my focus back to Jason. Only when I turn around, I see he’s gone. Shit. Stupid dream Jason couldn’t wait for two minutes? This fantasy is feeling less fantastic and more ho hum by the second.

I sigh, pulling open the door of the dormitory. The sounds and smells seem so real. It’s like I’m really here in Wilham. I take in the familiar surroundings as I make my way to the coffee shop. The smell of stale cigarettes blasts me in the face when I open the door. The Bean was the one place on campus where you could still smoke inside when I was a student here. Yuck. I don’t miss this. Too bad I couldn’t edit some of this shit out of my dream. My subconscious must be a stickler for detail.

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