Inside, Cass is gently bouncing Jayden on her knee. His cheeks are red and his eyes are glassy. He’s not feeling well.
“How’s it going?” I ask. Dark circles rim Cass’s eyes. Jayden is squirming against her chest.
Her blink is long, like she might fall asleep before she opens her eyes back up. “He’s been up fussing all night. I tried Tylenol, ibuprofen, rocking him. We both tried to sleep on the couch. I don’t think I’ve gotten more than three hours of sleep.”
I have plenty of sympathy for her, but I’m disappointed. “You could’ve called.”
Her lips thin. “I did.”
Yeah, but not until she was overtired and at the doctor’s office. I should learn to be grateful for the scraps she throws me. Mom insists that Cass and I should have an equal partnership. I agree. But until I have the means to fight her, I have to take what I can get. Cass’s parents won’t hesitate to call in favors and block me from seeing my son forever.
Getting angry rarely solves anything. She called me for help and I’ll work with that.
I resist looking at my watch. I want to step out and try Lia again, but knowing my luck, that’s when the doctor will come in. I sink into the chair next to her and hold my hands out, hoping Jayden will want to come to me. He shrinks into Cass’s arms, looking at me like I’m the reason for his discomfort.
He’s just a kid, but I have to play nice with his mother so I can become a dad he turns to when he’s in pain. Cass shoots me a sincerely apologetic look, and it’s one of those rare moments that lowers the wall she’s built between us.
The door opens and an older woman walks in. Her pristine lab coat reads Dr. Prashant.
She smiles warmly at Cass, her eyes brimming with understanding. “Tell me what’s been going on.”
Cass gives her the same description she gave me when I walked in. The doctor nods and pins me with a hard look. “You need to let Mom get some rest. There’s no rule book that says moms are the only ones with the genetic ability to stay up at night with their kids.”
Shock plasters my lips shut. I’ve dealt with a lot of doctors with attitudes, but none have caught me off guard quite like her. I’d love to be part of Jayden’s days and nights. But the fact is that I can only parent as much as she lets me.
Cass stiffens next to me, having the grace to appear chagrined. Yet she doesn’t jump to my defense and explain that I’m damn lucky to even be here. She also doesn’t tell Dr. Prashant that her parents are world-renowned pediatric surgeons and can afford an army of attorneys when I can’t afford even one, giving her one hundred percent of the parenting power.
I keep my expression unreadable. I don’t want to add more bricks to the wall that finally weakened only a couple minutes ago. My situation isn’t one that’ll change overnight.
Dr. Prashant rattles off instructions for the prescription she hands out. She doesn’t spare me one more look but dotes on Cass. I concentrate on what the doctor’s saying, not how she’s acting, and ignore my simmering resentment. She ushers us out the door and neither Cass nor I say anything as we walk down the long hallway toward the exit.
As we step outside into the warm sun and quiet parking lot, she sighs. “The doctor’s right. I need to rest. Do you want to take Jayden for a few hours while I go home and sleep? I can drop him off after I fill his prescription and give him his first dose.”
“Absolutely,” I say before considering the repercussions. Her request doesn’t wipe out the incident in the doctor’s office, but it’s another olive branch. I can’t miss this opportunity just to go on a date. “Why don’t I follow you to CVS? I can wait with Jayden and take him home from there.”
She considers it for a moment. Her fatigue wins. “Yeah. That’ll be good.” Her smile is wan. “Thank you, Ford.”
“I’m happy to help.” The more I’m here for Jayden when Cass needs me to be, the more she’ll be on my side. I know I hurt her with my decisions and she retaliated in a way that many consider unforgivable, but I can’t change the past.
On the way to the pharmacy, I try Lia again. She answers.
“Hey, did you get my message?” I rub the back of my neck like that’ll help the simmering tension dissipate. No way Cass would let me get away with something like this. She used to give me so much shit when I canceled plans to study for a big test in medical school.
“Yes, sorry. I meant to send a reply but got busy going over coordinates. Going a little later will be no problem. I’m ready when you are.”
Dammit. She’s the one who had to do all the planning for this. And, of course, she’s being cool about it. She’s Lia, and I still have to cancel on her. “So, Cass hardly got any sleep last night. She asked if I could watch Jayden for a few hours this afternoon. I’m sorry, but I can’t make it.”
“Oh no, it’s no problem.” Her voice is steady, but there’s more than a hint of disappointment. “I totally understand. He comes first.”
I don’t want to give up the entire day with Leah. Cass only asked for a few hours. I doubt she’ll leave him with me much longer. “You want to come over later tonight?”
More silence. “Are you…are you sure?”
Right. The friends-with-benefits thing. I’m not asking for the benefits now. I want her company because I was looking forward to our date.
“We could catch a movie or something,” I offer instead, so she doesn’t think I’m inviting her over to get laid. I looked forward to geocaching. It was new and unusual. But now the standard movie date sounds even better. Whatever can keep me from canceling on Lia.
“We don’t exactly have the same taste in movies,” she says wryly.