Page 91 of A Reckless Memory

“Like our wedding. Instead of talking through everything, you left. Only now you can’t leave, so you’re trying to get me to.”

“How can you throw it at me that I left? After what you and Daddy did—”

“We had something real. Maybe the wedding was rushed because of Barns, but we had something real, and you walked away like it meant nothing.” He shook his head when I opened my mouth to tell him he hadn’t followed me to prove otherwise. “Never mind. We’re beyond that. I’m focused on the now, Aggie, and I feel like you’re trying to push a future you assume is destined to fail. I enjoy being with you. I work for you. I don’t have the money. Can’t we just...be?”

I recoiled. He was telling me to leave it because he didn’t know what he wanted to do. My heart was out of my chest and pumping between us, open and vulnerable, his for the taking, but as long as it stayed in Crocus Valley, he didn’t know if he wanted it.

Can’t we just...be?

I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay forever. I wanted him to tell me he loved me and I was all he needed. But that wasn’t what he’d said. Can’t we just...be?

So, yeah. I guess, for now, I’d have to let it be. When I was the one standing in his taillights, I’d deal with it then.

* * *

Ansen

My phone was vibrating against the nightstand. Fancy mewed at my feet and adjusted her position. My room was bathed in shadows, but the rumble of a truck passed on the highway. Usually I couldn’t hear the traffic that clearly. Right. I was in the fucking trailer, giving Aggie some room after our argument.

The time was after two in the morning, and I’d been sleeping like shit after talking with Aggie earlier.

She was putting space between us that had no right being there.

When she’d told me, with the finality I recognized to be an undying trait of hers, that she was never leaving Crocus Valley, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Her admission finally revealed the fear she was hiding. She didn’t believe what was growing between us was real or that it’d matter to me.

I had a decision to make. I was within months, or even weeks, of getting everything I wanted. The dreams I’d given up on had been handed back to me by a cantankerous old man who didn’t love or respect his family like he should.

But those dreams were down south. My childhood home. Even my dad was there. If I stayed, I’d be living in Aggie’s house, helping with her business. I’d be a millionaire and still living off someone. Didn’t feel like success.

If I stayed, bought the land across from her place, erected a shop, stables, and a riding ring, would Aggie resent me? Could I use her family’s money right in front of her? Didn’t feel right. Neither did leaving her. I just wanted time to think. I didn’t give myself that before. I’d reacted—to Barns’s offer, to her breaking it off with me, and getting told to leave Montana. I couldn’t screw this up and lose her again.

My phone buzzed again. The screen lit up with Archer’s name. Groggy, I sat up. Alarm gathered in my brain as the fog cleared. Archer was calling me at two in the morning. Something was wrong. I answered with a rushed, “Yeah?”

“Ansen, it’s Dad. He’s in the hospital.”

Too late. That was all I could think. I’d spent too long avoiding Dad, being ashamed of myself, and now I was too late. He was going to be gone before I had the means to take care of him. Before he saw me achieve a single goal. “What the fuck happened?”

“He got rammed by a cow this afternoon. Broke some ribs. Contusions. I don’t know what else. He was pretty groggy, but he refused to have anyone call us until he could talk to us himself. I told him I’d tell you so he could rest. I’m taking a flight right away in the morning.”

“I’ll head out in ten.” I could be there by tomorrow evening. I was already rolling out of bed.

“I can give you my flight details.”

“I’ll drive. He’s going to need help, and you have work and a family.”

There was a pause. “Thanks. Drive safe.”

He disconnected.

He wasn’t used to me being around or available, but then nothing like this had happened. Dad was always there, toiling away in a job he’d done most of his life and enjoying the ten acres he’d finally been able to buy for himself during his nonworking hours.

I tossed on the clothes I’d been wearing the day before. Then I dumped all my belongings on the bed, making Fancy let out a disgruntled snort, and dug out my suitcase. I stuffed everything into my luggage. It took only a pitiful few moments to pack everything I owned that was in the trailer house.

The dishes weren’t mine. None of the furniture. Without Aggie’s books, I didn’t even need much extra space for the winter gear I’d purchased. What didn’t fit would get tossed in the back seat.

I’d need my tack. I’d fill in for Dad while he recovered, and his place and animals would need care.

I squatted at the corner of the bed and scratched along Fancy’s jaw. She’d been with me every night I wasn’t staying at Aggie’s, and over the last month, I’d been more thankful for her presence.

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