Page 66 of A Reckless Memory

He almost sounded grateful about that. I hadn’t made it easy on Penley and Lawson. With Ansen, I didn’t have to. “You have a lot going on. I know you don’t trust him, but can you trust me? I’ve done okay up until now.”

“I know.” His fatigue filtered over the line. Was it the in-laws? His job? Grief he probably hadn’t let himself experience? “You’ve done really well, and you’re less than three hours away. I don’t want him to hurt you and you up and leave and then we don’t see you more than once a year again.”

I...didn’t realize how much that had bothered him until I heard the heaviness, the fear in his voice. Eliot had said something similar. I had up and left and assumed my brothers had each had their own lives and would barely notice. “I would’ve had to leave eventually. I know you don’t agree with how Mama abandoned us, but she and I were in the same boat. There was nothing there for us. I kept wanting to do more, and you all kept me doing less.”

“You’re the baby. We had to take care of you.”

With Ansen, I wasn’t an obligation. I wasn’t someone he had to care for. We moved snow together. He cleared his training ideas through me. While I didn’t disagree with anything, he would’ve listened if I had. We worked well together. I didn’t feel like his boss. We were more like colleagues.

“But I see what you mean,” he said. “If it’s going to be too uncomfortable to have us there—”

“Not at all—I want to see all of you. I don’t know what Ansen’s going to do for Christmas. He has family too.”

“Since when?”

“He hasn’t met much of his extended family, but his brother lives in the next town over, and his dad was up for Thanksgiving.”

“Guess we all have to grow up someday. Dammit, it’s Curt calling.”

Curt Smith was Meg’s dad. A lawyer who couldn’t retire because he would miss being in everyone’s business and calling the shots. “Tell the others they’re all welcome too.” My entire family hadn’t been to my place yet at the same time.

“Eliot’s going to bitch about Ansen and claim Barns needs him there. Austen’s flying in and out so quick I don’t know what the point is, but he’s going to stay and help Eliot. Wilder took the weekend for another deputy. Maybe check with Sutton?”

“Will do.” After we hung up, I stared out the windshield. A woman from HR walked by and waved. Heat was finally kicking out of the vents, and I could go at any time.

I dialed Sutton instead. After what Cody said about Wilder, I didn’t want to wait on her call. When she answered, I said, “Cody and the kids are coming for Christmas. Want to come and guess about everything Cody’s going to critique?”

She laughed. “He hasn’t let up about the square footage.”

“The whole second story.”

“He told you Wilder offered to work for Kaplan?”

I immediately knew why Wilder did it. Kaplan had three kids and his in-laws lived outside of Sioux Falls. Sutton had made Wilder take Labor Day weekend off so they could hike in Yellowstone, and he’d felt guilty all vacation because Kaplan’s in-laws had driven up for a few days. “Sorry.”

“Yeah.” Each time I apologized like I could make up for my brother’s workaholism, she sounded more defeated. “You know what—I’ll drive down. I work on Christmas Eve, but I can come down for Christmas Day. I’m on call the day after. Want me to bring anything?”

“Your pudding salad.” It was anything but a salad, and I could eat a gallon.

“See you then and—Aggie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“Any time.” I’d been alone enough Christmases, but I’d always been single. I didn’t know what it was like to spend a holiday by myself when my significant other seemed to go out of his way to avoid being home.

I pulled out of the parking lot and hit the highway toward home. I was having guests for the holiday.

* * *

Ansen

I’d purchased presents for Emmaline and Vaden weeks ago. I’d gone to Bismarck and had even paid for someone to wrap them. Last Christmas, I’d been part of a big family dinner that was more for showing off how much money the ranch I worked for was making than to concentrate on any large family gathering. Stephanie had made me dress in a black western-cut suit that had reminded me of my wedding tux. So the day had started out shitty.

I couldn’t have pictured the changes I’d been through since then.

Watching my niece, still in a fancy red nightgown, helping her brother tear into a spring rocking horse he could ride, just like Archer and I had when we were kids, wasn’t it. But it was one of the improvements.

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