Page 27 of A Reckless Memory

“Fuck’s sake, for how much?”

“Fuck’s sake,” I mimicked, “I’m thirty-one, and it’s none of your business.”

“Please tell me it’s a woman and you didn’t hire some guy to live and work on your property.”

“Not a woman.” Ansen was all man.

“Did you at least check his references?”

“That’s what I’m calling you about. And it’s only out of respect that I’m telling you, but you sometimes forget I can make my own decisions, and I don’t need your approval.” I wanted it, but that was different. I would probably skate backward on my progress with Cody after he heard who I hired, but I’d rather tell him than have him find out elsewhere. He’d been through a lot since Meg got sick.

“Fuck.” I hadn’t heard Cody swear this much in years. He was still grieving and probably wasn’t acknowledging it. “It’s not a coincidence I was called about a former horse trainer, and now you’re telling me you hired someone with that hitch in your voice?”

“No.” He had to be talking about Ansen. Irritation at Ansen’s recent former employer spiked hot in my blood. Why had they gone that far back in Ansen’s employment history? “No coincidence.”

I was met with silence. I hated adding stress to my brother.

“I’m not after him, Cody, I swear.” I didn’t sound like the thirty-one-year-old I boasted about being. I sounded like a teenager caught drinking. “He’s affordable.” I winced at the way I phrased it. “It’s not personal. It was a business decision.”

“Did you do any background checks? It’s been a long time. Hell, you didn’t even have to go far. You’re the research a lot of employers should be doing on him. He took bribe money to marry you.” Hearing it out loud still stung. “Of course he’s fucking affordable. He can’t get hired anywhere, and when he does, his past comes out and he’s let go. Didn’t you check into him at all? Do you know what they’re saying he did?”

“Of course, I know. You know the animal stuff is bullshit.”

“Then why is it all over the Kansas City news?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him the story.”

“Aggie.”

“Cody.”

We sat in a quiet standoff for several seconds. I wasn’t defending my actions, or I’d look even more impulsive, and telling Cody I was confident I could trust Ansen around animals wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He was right. I had no proof other than a strong gut feeling and trust that I shouldn’t have for a guy who betrayed me.

Finally, he said, “I knew you weren’t over him.” He spoke my fear out loud.

I bit the inside of my cheek. I’d gotten on with my life. I’d done a lot since I was that twenty-one-year-old bride. I was over Ansen. I had to be. “I’m not looking for a relationship. He’s been here a week, and other than working with the vet and a few check-ins, we don’t see or talk to each other. He’s been really good with the animals. Except for keeping all the damn chicken eggs after he does chores.”

Cody coughed a disbelieving laugh, and I wished I could’ve seen the two seconds he lost his composure. The brother, during the funeral, had been laced with titanium and just as expressive.

“If you saw what I was paying him, you would see better how this is screwing him over.” My gut flopped. The man working with the horses should be compensated fairly, but I’d never be able to afford Ansen otherwise. “He really does know what he’s doing.”

“He probably never made a lot training or competing with other people’s horses.”

Guilt I’d been trying to ignore welled higher in my belly. After reading more of what was said online about him, I could tie on a cape and call myself a hero for giving him a job. I didn’t know what happened, but I knew there was a whole side of the story that didn’t get aired, and what had been told wasn’t the truth. Except for him breaking that girl’s heart. I could believe that.

“Why else do you think he was trying to use women to get money?” Cody’s words gouged an old wound. He never did think Ansen would marry me for any reason other than cold, hard cash. No one did. The worst reality check was having to convince myself they were right.

“I’m not looking to start anything with him. After Lawson, I don’t care to find another guy who thinks he knows better than me. A man who wants me to do all the changing. Is it so wrong to want a little retribution over what happened?”

“That’s what this is really about? Ten years later?” Cody sighed and I could picture him behind his giant oak desk in his big, boring office with his head in his hand. “No, Aggie. It’s not wrong, but I think you forget how messy things can become when we’re dealing with humans. We can’t just throw a headstall on them and lead them around.”

The mess Cody referred to was the biggest reason why I was keeping my distance from Ansen. We could keep stuffing receipts in the door, and we could message each other. I didn’t need to go to the trailer or be outside when he was. Enough about Ansen. Cody was informed. Now I wanted to talk to him as a brother. “How are the kids?”

“Fine.” His grumble was unmistakable.

“Your in-laws still being pushy?”

“They want the kids over Christmas break, and Meg’s mom dropped a subtle hint about looking for schools in Helena for the spring semester.”

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