Page 95 of A Reckless Memory

“From the beginning. It’s probably why we buffered you from everything. Didn’t want to give him a reason to finally blow,” Cody grunted. “Maybe he should’ve. Anyway, Wilder thinks you encouraged her to divorce.” He cleared his throat. “Since you were closer to Mama.”

“Oh.” I frowned. Wilder’s assumptions hurt, and I’d have to call him about it. “What Mama did affected me too. And yeah, her words stayed with me, and when I left before the wedding, I thought she’d be proud of me. But since being with Ansen again, I’ve been angry with her.” Cody’s silence encouraged me to keep going. “She left. Daddy didn’t care. And I didn’t give Ansen a chance to leave me first. What if he would’ve stayed?”

“You think he would’ve stayed?” His question was filled with genuine curiosity.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if he knows either, maybe for a little while. Maybe he would’ve rejected the money and married me anyway. Maybe Daddy would’ve blown then. Maybe Ansen and I were too immature to make anything work anyway.” So many scenarios. I had quit wondering for the most part. It was done. “I mean, I was willing to do whatever he wanted, to give up my dreams.”

“What were your dreams?”

“To be needed.” The answer left before I thought about it. Cody set a hand on the railing and hooked the fingers of his other hand through a belt loop of his gray slacks. Now that I had his attention, I wanted to hide. How did I explain something I’d only just had the epiphany about? “If I had to pick a career back then, it would’ve been ranching. I really love working with animals, yet training horses wasn’t exactly my dream. Living around them, yes.”

“You want to do exactly what you’re doing here?”

“Yes. I can make it work without Ansen. On a smaller scale.” The back of my throat burned. I hated to think of life without him when I’d gotten a taste of it.

“You think he’s not coming back?”

Wasn’t that the question every damn day? My tenuous trust was growing weaker with each passing of the sun. Cody’s news that Ansen’s old ranch was for sale was like a pair of shiny silver scissors poised, waiting to sever it completely. “I don’t know.” My reply was ragged.

Cody studied me. “I have to admit...I thought he was full of shit when he showed up on your doorstep.”

“He didn’t just show up.”

“He’s proven to grab opportunities when he sees them.” He held up a hand before I could interject. “But I didn’t get the impression he was acting after the will reading. His only concern seemed to be you. I hope he returns for you. That being said, I gotta ask—why won’t you move?”

Familiar defensiveness rose. “I worked really hard for all this, and I have an amazing job. If I leave, everything will be his.” He gave another arrogant cock of his brow. “I know, I know. I can sell the house and the property. But the job...”

“You have experience with finance in the oil industry. You basically grew up oil-industry adjacent. Ansen’s in Texas. There are a lot of oil and animals in Texas.”

I scowled. Could I have a conversation with my oldest brother that didn’t devolve into him talking to me like I couldn’t do anything? “Are you trying to get me to move? You don’t think I can work and run the rescue by myself?”

“Aggie,” he said in his frustratingly calm boardroom voice, “I’m not questioning whether you can do it. I’m asking you why you want to do it by yourself when you could have it all with a guy you’re clearly in love with.”

“Oh.” Tears stung the backs of my eyes. Between Cody’s confidence that I could do it by myself and calling me out about how madly in love I was with a new millionaire who could have any woman with a crook of his finger, I wanted to run inside and slam the door. Cody’s vulnerability with me earlier was the only reason I spoke my biggest fear out loud. “What if he doesn’t love me?”

“Well... you said you regretted leaving last time. Maybe this time, you give him the chance to reject you first. Either way, it’s going to hurt. Pick your pain.” He propped his elbows on the railing again, staring at his kids. “But there’s also a chance it’ll all work out this time.”

* * *

Ansen

I gazed at a home that was smaller and more run down than I remembered. During one of the many long hours I’d been by Dad’s side in the hospital, he’d mentioned our old place was for sale. The urge to rush here hadn’t been as strong as I would’ve thought. I’d scrolled through the details, noted the price, and then concentrated on Dad.

I hadn’t been back since I’d graduated. The town was about the same. Small and dusty. Happily country. I didn’t care to roam around and see if I recognized anyone or if they remembered me. None of them had cared when I lived here.

Dad stood stiffly next to me. His shoulders were rigid, thanks to the minimal pain meds he used. He claimed the pain was almost gone, but this was the first trip we’d taken since he’d been discharged. The last several weeks had been me making him stay put at his house while I took care of everything.

Archer made a trip out every weekend. Dad hated the attention, but every time both Archer and I were in the same room with him, he practically floated off the couch.

Dad had moved across the county after I left, and for the first time, I realized how much he’d endured to give us as stable a home as possible. He’d stayed in a crap job, getting treated like dirt and being paid less, because he didn’t dare uproot us to find out a new situation was worse. And Archer and I had blamed him in our cocky, unknowing way.

“You did a lot for us,” I said gruffly.

He glanced at me, surprised. The cuts on his face had healed in the six weeks since the accident. We’d teased him that it was lucky the mama cow hadn’t branded him with a hoofprint in the middle of his forehead.

His gaze turned back to the squat home that used to be majestic in my mind. A divot formed between his brows. “It wasn’t near enough. If I’d been better with money...”

“How many people can say that, though? It’s not like any of us are taught what to do with a sudden load of cash.” I scuffed a boot in the dirt. I was rich. The money had come through quicker than expected, but that was “thy Knight’s will” being done. I hadn’t told Aggie yet. I needed to make sure I had clear, concise answers for her after the way we parted. She would lose all trust in me otherwise. “I had a perfectly good pickup, and the first thing I did when Barnaby gave me some money after I started dating Aggie was buy a brand-new one.”

---