Page 68 of A Reckless Memory

“He owns his house and land, right?”

Archer lifted a shoulder. “He’s making payments.”

“So the bank owns it.” Meaning Dad still had to work. There was no retirement for him. Part of why I’d wanted to achieve my dream so badly. “I’ve mentioned him moving out here where he could be closer to family, but he’s so damn proud of that place. You should see him with the kids. He lives for showing them around and seeing Emmaline ride his horse. After losing everything, he won’t leave that land and move somewhere all his family members, but him, have land and houses and farms and ranches. He’d feel like he failed twice.”

“Can’t blame him.” If I had a place to call my own in a state that didn’t flex over you by dumping loads of snow on your head, then take a few layers of skin off with the bitter wind, I’d stay too.

“Short of winning the lottery so he can buy his own place around Coal Haven, I don’t know what to do.”

“Wish I could help.” I’d have to win the lottery too. There had to be some way to help Dad. I didn’t want to leave Aggie, but if Dad needed me... He’d never say he did, and he’d gushed so much about Archer and me being in the same place, it’d bother him if I left on his account.

“I’m glad we can talk about it.” When I nodded, he stopped whipping his peeler against the potato like it’d wronged him and insulted his entire family. “Don’t underestimate that, Ansen. If I met Delaney tomorrow, you’d be the first one I told.”

“You were the first to know Aggie meant something to me.” He was the only one.

“Have you told her?”

I concentrated on peeling the most pristine potato in the county, if not the planet. “I’m still trying to figure it out. I think about back then...” I shook my head, tossed the spud in the pot, and grabbed another. “I didn’t know what I had back then, but at the same time, I did. I also knew how badly I fucked up and didn’t think about her or what went on between us—it wasn’t happening again. After a couple of shitty relationships, I started realizing that what Aggie and I had wasn’t...common.” So I’d made sure to think about her less. Except when I was cyberstalking her on the really bad days.

“Tell her.”

I ripped through the tater skin. “I have nothing to give her, Archer. Nothing. She’s putting the roof over my head. She’s paying me to work for her.” And she refused to pay me half my wages to direct the rest toward the rescue. “Hell, she’s even feeding me by splitting the eggs with me. I have nothing to give her.”

“Don’t discount yourself.”

Disgusted, I dropped the peeler and potato. “There’s nothing to discount. I’m in the one place in the world where I’m surrounded by my successful brother and my business-and-land-owning cousins. Even my uncle is her boss. How long before she looks around and realizes there wasn’t much to me back then without the money?” I picked up the items. I wasn’t going to let Archer do all the work, and he was diligently peeling like he was afraid if he made any sudden moves, I’d stop talking and leave. Maybe I was afraid of that too. Maybe I was afraid of a lot more. Like not being worthy of my boss. “You know what I wanted to do with that money Barnaby was paying me?”

“Weren’t you going to start your own training business?”

I nodded. “That—but it was where I was going to do it. I planned to talk Aggie into moving to Texas if our old place ever went on the market.” It hadn’t seemed pertinent to bring it up to Aggie until after we were married, when I would’ve actually had a substantial amount of money. Oddly enough, Barns had let me wax poetic about my ideas. I thought that was half the reason he made the deal. I hoped the other half was because he cared about Aggie.

“Where we grew up?” Surprise lined his brow.

“I’d buy the guy out, give Dad a job, and it’d be good again.”

He sat back. “I didn’t think you thought about our old place.”

“You don’t?”

A ghost of a smile played over his lips. “When I got my head in the right place, maybe, but by then, I wanted a home with Delaney. Our own place.”

Our old home was always on my mind. It was the pinnacle of every goal I’d ever set. It shimmered at the unattainable end of every failure. “I think about the good times.”

His smile was faint. “There were some of those.” He blinked the humor away. “Since I’ve been here with Delaney and the other Barrons, I can see why we had such a hard time.”

“Mama dying didn’t clue you in?” I was half teasing.

“Yes, jackass. Losing her was...” He shook off the melancholy. “But it was just us. No extended family. We were an island, and the world was a storm around us, hammering at our walls. We had no help, and it was sort of self-inflicted.”

“Mama’s family refused to get over her marrying Dad and moving across the state.” Mama was supposed to stay in El Paso and take care of them and help her sisters and their families. She’d fallen for Dad and moved far enough away to keep from being beholden to them. They spoke to us even less after the funeral, blaming Dad for her being gone.

“Just like Dad did with his family. We could’ve had someone who gave a shit around us.” He waved his half-naked potato around. “Listen, I’m not throwing blame. I’m just saying that you can’t wall yourself off on an island and expect to thrive.”

“Aggie’s not an island. She still talks to her family, and they don’t trust me. When her dad passes and the inheritance gets spread around, they’re going to trust me less. I have no way to prove to them I’m with her because I want to be.”

“Fuck what they think. You make sure you’re solid with Aggie, that you’re honest with her, and it won’t matter.”

I’d like to think it was as easy as that, but I had a hell of a blemish on my record.

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