Page 2 of We Three Kings

Despite his whisper I still hear the swear word. Our real Mom would have yelled at him for his foul mouth. But she’s not here and she’s never coming back so I guess it doesn’t matter now.

“What did I tell you about saying stuff about Craig and Melissa? If the school reports that to the social worker and she comes here, then…”

I prop up on my elbow to see why he stopped talking. I can’t see his face since he’s lying on his back now and staring up at the ceiling. He’s angry but I don’t know why. I didn’t say anything about them.

Maybe he’s right though. My teacher stopped smiling as she read my letter. I thought it was because my writing wasn’t the neatest, but now I’m not so sure. “I’m sorry.”

Despite trying to sound okay, my voice cracks. I hate when he’s upset at me.

I hate when anyone is upset at me.

He sighs and hops up, coming over and giving me a big bear hug that makes me feel safe.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”

Notwe’llbuthim.

My brother always fixes everything.

He’s the only person I can count on.

The only person I can trust.

The only person I can believe in.

When he releases me and steps back, he studies my face, trying to see if I’m crying. I grin despite the burning in my eyes and throat.

The tears really stress him out, and I can’t do that to him again. I can’t bawl every time something goes wrong or that’s all I’d ever do.

“I won’t say anything to anyone I promise.”

Some of the worry scrunching his face goes away so I feel better too. He playfully yanks a strand of my hair before returning to his bed. Maybe things will be okay.

“I’ll see if I can get us some blankets.”

I’m confused. Neither of us has any money to go shopping. “How are you going—?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He shakes his head. “Just go to sleep.”

I’m too tired to worry about it, but it’s hard to sleep when you’re shivering, and your teeth are chattering. “Okay. G-good night b-bubby.”

“One more thing. Santa won’t stop here this year. So you need to stop wishing for stuff, okay?”

He’s using his mean voice that I hate since I know he’s not mean. Every once in a while he talks like that to me when he’s serious and wants me to really listen to him. And I do want to listen since he’s my big brother.

But just because Santa didn’t come last year doesn’t mean he won’t this year. We had just started living here, and he probably didn’t know we had to move. Now it’s been a really long time, so I just know he’ll find us.

“It pisses them off, and I can’t deal with their shit anymore.”

Despite the bad words, I know he’s right. They do get mad when I talk about Christmas. They get mad when I talk about anything. Melissa says she just wants me toshut the fuck upand stay out of her god damn way. Then there won’t be any problems.

So, I try to, and it works. Most of the time anyway.

Melissa’s always extra grouchy around Christmas. I don’t understand why. It’s my favorite time of the year. She tries to ruin the fun, but I won’t let her. I can enjoy the decorations and songs and cookies at school. She can’t take that away from me.

“No more talking about Christmas okay. Just…just be good. Please?”

His voice sounds all wobbly, like he’s crying this time. If I’m a good girl, my brother will be happy.

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