Me: Ya do what ya want to do, angel, or maybe I should call ya my vixen right now?
Lauren the Enemy: I'm not yours. Don't ya ever call me yours again.
It's another knife to my chest, but it's reality.
Me: Don't say things ya don't want to be true.
Lauren the Enemy: Stay away from me, Devin. If I ever see ya again, I will have the O'Learys kill ya.
Me: Don't make threats ya can't keep, my vixen.
I wait for another message, but it never arrives. All night, I stare at the phone, thinking about things to text back, but I don't. I restrain myself even though I want to send a message just to know if she blocked me.
Several times, I almost delete her number, but something won't let me. I hate the hold she seems to have over me, even though I tell myself she doesn't. Yet I know that deep down, she does, because I should block her number and then delete it.
My pussy self can't.
A million different things go through my mind to message her. All night, every second that goes by that she doesn't send me another message only irritates me further. I become so antsy I have to go back outside. I wander the streets all throughout the night until the sun comes up.
Even then, I'm still answer-less. I don't know what I'm searching for or what I expect to happen. I slept with my enemy. I did it knowingly and willingly, and she found out. There's nothing left for us, yet I can't shake the fact that I feel like there is, and I hate myself for that feeling. I should have never laid eyes on her or made that bet. Sleeping with her was my mistake and one I'm now paying for because all I can think about is how I'm never going to have her again.
I didn't anticipate any of this, and none of it is sitting right with me. Yet I'm clueless about how to change any of it or reverse what I've done.
Now, I just have to live with my mistake and move on. Somehow, some way, I will forget Lauren Byrne.
If it were only that easy to pretend I never dipped my wick into the forbidden zone.
7
Lauren
I hide in my room most of the day, not wanting to face the girls. I texted Emily earlier that I wasn't feeling well and to take care of the pub before Mum arrives later tonight, but I can't wait anymore. I have to get to work.
I stare at the text messages Devin and I exchanged one last time. Then I toss my phone on the bed and groan. I'm still in shock, but I'm also angry.
How could I have been so stupid?
I put on my pub T-shirt, slide on my jeans, and toss my pajamas in the dirty laundry. I leave my flat and go down the staircase.
The loud chaos of the pub grows with every step I take. Normally, I'm excited to go to work. But all I feel right now is dread.
When I get behind the bar, Emily appears. "Ya feeling better?"
"Yea, I'm fine," I reply and grab a towel. I wipe the counter even though it's dry.
She stares at me, lowers her voice, and asks, "Are ya okay? Did he do something ya didn't want him to do last night?"
I freeze. My insides churn faster, and my heart pounds.
Emily puts her hand on my forearm. "Lauren, what happened?"
I meet her eye and force out in my most convincing tone, "Nothing. I'm fine. He didn't do anything I didn't want him to do."
She leans closer. "So ya had sex with him, then?" She arches her eyebrow.
I glance around us to make sure no one's listening, then admit, "Yea. Tell me ya didn't have sex with anyone last night."
Her face flushes. "We all did."