Page 76 of Irresistibly Risky

But before that, I have to know this. I have to know what I’m up against with my coach. I’m lying to him by omission, and while my private life is my own, this part of my private life is potentially bleeding into my career.

“Wynter, what happened with your father?”

She stops midsentence—because she was talking about something I wasn’t listening to—and then turns to face me.

She takes a step away from me and opens her mouth when two things happen at once. Our phones start blowing up with pings from the camera app, and the sound of Mason crying reaches us all the way across the apartment. We both run down the hall and straight into his room. He’s fine, just fussy and wanting out of his crib.

Wynter goes to him, tucking her towel in tighter against her chest, and then picking him up. She kisses his forehead and then starts speaking softly. “He’s starting daycare at the hospital today.”

I blink, my head on a swivel as I take her in. “He is? I didn’t know that was even a thing.”

She gives me a sheepish look without meeting my eyes. “Yes. Sorry. I registered him for it when I started at the hospital, but there was a waitlist. I got the text yesterday that he’s able to start there today.”

“Oh.” I’m not even sure what to say. Her tone is off, and so is her body language.

“It’ll be better that way. Makes it a lot easier for me not having to take him back and forth to my parents’ house.”

“Right. Makes sense.” Only I was hoping I’d get to spend time with him today. That he’d be hanging around with Wynter’s mom watching him here.

“Yeah, so we need to get going. I’m going to get him dressed and then bring him into my room with me while I get myself ready.”

I frown. “You don’t have to do that. I can watch him. My call isn’t until later this morning, and my game film can wait.”

She waves me away with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “It’s fine. I’m used to it. I know you have a busy day too. I’ll make us all eggs before we leave though. He loves it when you feed him.”

She carries him over to his changing table and starts to get him out of his pajamas, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to say or do now. She told me she’d try with me, and we spent an incredible night and morning together, but since I mentioned her father, it’s like I shut out her light. A switch has been flipped in her head, and I have no idea how to fix that.

21

All day, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. My reaction. Asher asked me a simple question. One he’s entitled to ask and to know about, and I mentally shut down. On him. On myself. On everything. It needs to stop, but I don’t know how to make it.

I drop off Mason at his new daycare—he does better with the drop-off than I do—and then, with thirty minutes to spare before my first patient, I call my mom.

“How’d it go with dropping Mason off?” she asks. I shut the door to my office and then collapse into my chair.

“Good. He did great. It’s not his first time in daycare, so it was like he never left.”

“Wonderful. But why do you sound anything but?”

I blow out a breath, running my finger along the edge of my desk. “I’m with Asher now.” The words come out sounding hollow, and they feel that way in my chest. It’s strange to say that aloud. I’m not sure I’ve ever truly considered myself with someone before and this isn’t a small thing. I’m not casually dating him. There is no casually dating the father of your child, and if this doesn’t work out…

“When did that happen?”

“Last night, but I saw it coming for a while. At least he hasn’t been shy about letting me know that’s what he wants.”

“Yes,” she agrees. “I knew that too. He wasn’t shy about telling me that either. Are you not feeling good about that decision? Did you make it for the wrong reasons?”

A wry grin hits my lips but quickly fades. “I am feeling good about it. Asher is…” I fade off as I think about this, leaning back in my chair. “Impossible not to like. He’s funny and charming and sweet, and in my heart, I believe him to be a good man. I mean, he didn’t even hesitate when I told him about Mason. Not even for a second. It was like, okay, I’m in.”

“Then what’s going on?”

I stare down at my hands. “He asked me about Joe this morning, and I froze. Suddenly I was hit with every reason why I hate football and football players and why I don’t trust men. I’m thirty-one years old, Mom. I was five when Joe left. Why am I still like this?”

“Because you were five when Joe left, and it was traumatizing.” She sighs. “I didn’t do the best job with it either. I was heartbroken myself, and I tried to comfort you and make you believe it wasn’t your fault, but you blamed yourself for catching him with Loretta, and you blamed yourself for him leaving because he told you both were your fault. They weren’t, but you didn’t believe that. Then you grew bitter and angry and resentful when he cut you out. I don’t know. I should have put you in therapy, but then you started skating, and Gary came along, and you seemed better. I didn’t know how deep all of this went with you until much, much later.”

“I don’t want to be this mother to Mason. I love Gary, and I trust Gary. He’s my dad. But I am inherently distrustful of every other man. With Asher, it’s as if I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it has me on edge. I don’t want him to prove me right, and so far, he’s given me no reason to think he will. But that doesn’t mean I trust him yet.”

“How about this, then? I’ll take Mason tonight, and you and Asher have an evening for just the two of you. Talk to him. See what he has to say. Give him a chance. Remember, Wyn, if I had never reopened my heart after Joe, I wouldn’t have met Gary. Try to imagine that Asher is your Gary and not your Joe.”

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