Page 302 of Wrong Pucking Player

I have nothing to prove to anyone.

No more competitions to deliver me validation.

No more arguments with men who don’t want to acknowledge my strength.

My fight with life is over…

Yes, there are missing pieces. Missing people in my life I’m supposed to discover, but what’s the point of fighting now?

I lose.

This may be deemed as a loss, but I feel like a true winner in these deep trenches.

Despite the odds, I survived the best I could.

The light above disappears, leaving me to question with my sluggish mind whether my eyes have finally closed.

I still see the lingering bubbles that drift upward, bursting out of existence each time my eyes are transfixed on their floating beauty.That should mean I haven’t fully lost consciousness yet, but maybe I’m dreaming now.

I have to be.

It’s the only reason I can accept to convince myself that two men are swimming my way.

They must be angels.

Beings ready to lift me up toward the heavens and allow me to experience this peace I’ve been craving all this while.

It encourages me to give in to the creeping darkness that inches in from the corners of my eyes.

The view of the two men is getting smaller, even though they’re getting closer to me.

One looks like Wyatt.Perfection in so many ways.

The other surprises me a little because he’s someone I fight with, like we’re cats and dogs.

Armani?

I always recognize him because he’s as cocky as my best friend’s ex, but despite him showing the outside world he’s a menace, I always thought there was something hidden beneath it all.

Beneath the ego.

Beneath the pride.

Beneath the need to succeed in this cruel world.

Beneath it all, I bet there’s a little boy wishing to be loved.An inner child yearning for the love of those around him.

Someone who knows what it’s like to project one thing to the world but hide your true self deep within.

Despite all our arguments, I always wondered if we’d get along. If he’d let go of being Jayce’s con man and be around real friends who wish nothing but the best.

I’m flipping a switch in my mind and recalling the plentiful moments I shared with this man who opened the door for only me to come inside.

The Armani who laughs in my company. The goalie with his rare smile, who makes those hazelnut dark chocolate eyes shimmer with affection and hope.

The man who loves kittens and takes care of my plants. The man who brought me into the world of darkness, despite knowing there could be dangerous consequences.

This very well may be the payback for bringing me into his world of shadows, but I don’t regret it. Being a part of those moments made me stronger, even if I’m not able to survive drowning to death.

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