Page 166 of Wrong Pucking Player

“Nothing should make you think otherwise,” he counters.

Staring back at him, I envision what it would be like to really start empowering myself with self-confidence. If someone like Armani has faith in me, why can’t I become who I’ve always wanted to be?

I don’t need to keep being a loud, tomboy friend everyone feels is overshadowed by her pretty best friend.

I’m beautiful, unique, and powerful in my own way. I just have to dwell on that energy consistently.

Think of life like a lifting competition, Kenzie. You don’t let anyone walk over you in those environments. It’s time you did that all year round and show the world that I’m just as deserving as anyone.

That it may be time for me to be my own Heartbreaker Queen.

Deciding to sit up, I use Armani’s chest as leverage to situate myself to sit just above his groin. He watches me intently, his eyes never leaving me, even as I get distracted by those lovely pierced nipples of his.

“Where does that leave us?” I mumble, my eyes still admiring his magnificent body.

God, I can never get tired of this body of his.

“What about us, Andrews?”

I’m expecting him to have some sort of scowl when I return my gaze to his, but it’s his turn to admire me in his jersey.

“I told…” I pause so I can mentally prepare myself to say the next set of words. “Wyatt that we can’t continue. That I can’t be… someone he just fucks and puts on the side.”

Hesitantly, I take a glimpse of Armani’s expression to see whether he’s disappointed in my words. He’s calm and gives me his utmost attention, pushing me not to be afraid in saying how I feel.

“Deep down, I love Wyatt. A special kind of love. I’m not sure I can explain it in words. He’s like a weakness I know I’ve always had because saying no to him… hurts not just my heart. It feels like I’m saying no to my own soul. Back when I left, I thought by distancing myself, the problems I left behind would fade away. That with personal growth and a new career on the horizon, when I returned, we’d be able to fix things. Now that I’m back and starting this internship, I’m coming to realize I had it all wrong. That time wasn’t going to fix something that was left on the shelf to collect dust.”

Closing my eyes, I take a deep inhale and let it out nice and slow.

“I told him that we could tell everyone else I’m staying with him, but that whatever this thing is between us is over. That he can no longer use me as a sex puppet for his pleasures, then dump me on the side when it’s inconvenient.” I open my eyes slowly, meeting those hazelnut chocolate eyes that are still focused on me.

“I deserve better, Oscar. Deserve… to not feel so pathetic. I was scared to break things with Wyatt because he’s the one I’ve relied on for so long. Even at a distance, I relied on the memories we shared to push me through the rough patches, but I hate the person I am right now. Hate feeling like I’m such a hindrance and not valuable to someone who says they care about me.”

“Those are all valid,” he reassures me. “Do you never want to deal with him again?”

I take a moment to think about it.

“No,” I speak truthfully. “I don’t think I can cut him off like that. I know one look at him will make me want to cave. It’s stupid, isn’t it? Wanting to stand up for yourself, yet caving into this ongoing need to be around them.”

“It’s not stupid,” Armani grumbles. “You love him, Andrews. Despite it all, deep down, there’s a place in your heart that’s just for him.”

“That’s the problem,” I stress. “How… am I going to incorporate us when I’m still fighting the obvious need to mourn not being with Wyatt?”

“Do you want to give Wyatt another shot?”

“Not now. I mean… I-I don’t want to cut him off.” I try to think logically without so much emotion. “I can act professionally around him. Don’t mind being in the same room together or working together, but in terms of a relationship again…”

I want to make excuses for him, but I shake my head and ball my hands into fists before resting them against Armani’s abs. Looking him dead in the eye, I carry on.

“He has to earn me again. To be more truthful. I know he’s scared to share something with me. That has to revolve around why he’s so anxious about introducing me to his family. I’ve always wondered if it was because I’m poor or because I’m not from a prestigious background, but I know Wyatt well enough to admit he’s not like that. He’s not like Winchester, who puts down everyone he deems ‘below’ him. Wyatt sees potential in everyone, and if it’s in his capabilities, he’d gladly push those individuals to achieve greater things. Someone like that wouldn’t push me away without a reason. At least, that’s what my critical thinking skill and instincts are telling me.”

“My Kenzie’s a smart cookie, huh?” he praises.

My cheeks flush red as I struggle to comprehend him calling me a smart cookie.

“God, Armani. You can’t praise me when I’m sitting like this,” I groan with the intention of getting off him, but his large hands grip the sides of my waist before I can move a muscle.

“Stay,” he encourages and looks even more pleased. “Looking at this view is a relaxing sight.”

---