Page 7 of Reclaimed

I didn’t want to cry again because I didn’t want him to feel like he was winning, but it was hard to fight it, and I’m sure he could tell I was holding back tears. I was angry, but I was also humiliated that he could overpower me so easily.

“Yes.”

“Good girl.” He relinquished his hold on my hair and grabbed my wrist harshly. “Stand up.” I complied hastily, afraid to disobey him again. “Follow me.”

He dragged me to the bathroom. “You have fifteen minutes to freshen up.” His tone was cold, but I felt his hesitation when henoticed that my gaze was fixed on my reflection in the mirror. I couldn’t help but cry now at the sight of my red, swollen cheek, and my hair still ruffled where he’d grabbed it. I turned my face away from the mirror and from Ray, and I tried to smooth down my hair and hide my tears.

“Hey…” He put his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged him off.

“Leave me alone.”

Ray was silent, and I wondered if he was feeling regret or if he was angry with me again for being disrespectful.

“Fifteen minutes,” he said, and then he left.

I turned on the shower as soon as the door had closed behind him so that the sounds of my crying were muffled by the water, but I was sure he could still hear me. I was terrified to get undressed in case he changed his mind and came in, but at the same time, I didn’t want to waste any of the fifteen minutes he’d given me. I allowed myself to cry full-on sobs in the shower, and I wondered what it was like to be Ray in that moment on the other side of the door, listening to my misery.

I had no watch and no phone, no way of tracking the time, so I rushed to get dressed again as quickly as possible in the jeans and T-shirt he’d put out for me. I did my best to make myself look presentable, but my cheek was still red, and my eyes were puffy from crying. Nervously, I opened the door to find Ray waiting right outside.

“Better?”

I wasn’t, but I nodded.

“Good. Let me hold you.”

He didn’t wait for permission before sliding his arms around me. I hated him, but I needed comfort, and I found that I could almost convince myself I didn’t hate him if I focused on the familiar smell of his aftershave, the warmth of his body, and the security of being tucked tightly into his chest. I told myself it was soothing, and it almost worked.

“You’ve lost weight.” He sounded accusatory.

“A little.” I’d started going to the gym with David when I was giving up smoking, and it had made me feel a million times better. He had been so good for me, and all our relationship had ever brought him was pain.

“Hmm.” Ray muttered disapprovingly. He stepped back and slid my T-shirt up just enough to reveal my stomach. I held my breath and willed myself to stay still under his inspection. The feel of his hands on me made me feel churny – mostly with fear, but I’d be lying if I said there was no lingering attraction there to complicate matters. Worrying thoughts about what he might do to me at any moment were conflicting with memories of the delicious things he’d done to me in the past. He finally let go of my top, and I quietly let out a long, slow breath.

“How about I bring you some lunch in your room?”

I nodded, and then worried in case that wasn’t polite enough. He clearly had no qualms about hurting me now.

“Yes please.”

“You go back and wait. I won’t be long.”

“Okay.” While I waited for him to return, I made the bed and tied back the curtains. I felt jittery and wished there were more things to tidy – I needed to use up my nervous energy.

Ray soon returned with a tray holding two plates of lunch, two glasses of water and some pills, which he set down on the bed.

“For your face,” he said, gesturing to the pills. “If you’d like them.” For that, I was grateful. My cheek was burning far more now than it had when he’d originally struck me. “After you’ve eaten though.”

His eyes never left me while I ate – a constant reminder that his presence wasn’t optional, that he could give or take whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

Once I’d finished, I turned my gaze to the window.

“Where are we?” I asked pointlessly.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” I silently agreed. In other circumstances, it would be exactly the kind of place I would have wanted to live. There were no signs that anyone else lived nearby. A tall oak tree stood proudly in the middle of the large garden and, further on, was an area that had been allowed to grow completely wild. It was beautifully tranquil, and I longed to be outside.

“Come on, let me show you around properly.” I willed my body to follow him along the landing to the master bedroom. Until now, it’d simply been a door – ominous, but always mercifully closed. I could almost pretend nothing lay behind it.

“This is my room. Our room, when you agree.”

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