Page 53 of Reclaimed

“Well, that’s something at least.”

“Yeah, what a relief,” I snapped.

“I’ll get your medicine.”

I couldn’t bear this way of living. I didn’t know what we were going to do in the long term, but I knew that, right now, I couldn’t stand another second of pretending that there was anything positive left between us. If I had to depend on Ray for food and medicine, then I would, but I wasn’t going to play the agreeable girlfriend for him anymore. I went to my room and gathered together a few of my things – my blanket, my water bottle, my book – and stood waiting for Ray to return with the pills. He looked confused when he saw me standing there.

“Put me in the cage.”

“You shouldn’t be alone right now, Callie.”

“You think I’d be better off with you?”

“I think you’d be better off if we talked about this.”

“You’ve already proven that I can’t trust you to keep me safe. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to keep pretending that I’m okay with all of this. I’m your prisoner here, so you may as well treat me like one.” I stormed off towards our… Ray’s room, and Ray followed me.

“Look, I regret what happened. You must know that. Can’t we—”

“No. We can’t. You can either lock me in or not, but I’m staying in here.” And with that I set down my small bundle of possessions inside the cage, crawled in beside it and closed the door. Being in our… Ray’s bedroom would mean being in his presence more than I would have liked. But I wanted my outside world to match my inside one – that was the only way my confusion would stop tormenting me. I knew where I stood when I was in the cage. I was a captive, and my mind could find freedom in that. Ray didn’t lock the door, but he didn’t protest any more either. It was as close to a victory as I was going to get. He passed the two tablets through the bars to me and watched to make sure I took them. Afterwards, I wrapped my blanket around myself and pretended to read my book until he left the room.

I couldn’t bring myself to move from the cage. I don’t know how much of my despondency was down to the drugs and how much was emotional, but it was easy to lie there all day just drifting. Ray brought medicine and food for me at regular intervals, which I accepted silently. He tried to reason with me, tried to apologise, tried to tempt me out, but I ignored him. I left the cage once that evening to use the bathroom and was worried he might lock the cage shut while I was out, but it seemed that, at least for now, he had accepted my decision.

I loathed the fact that we were sleeping in the same room, but I knew the cage was where I needed to be. Ray set alarms to wake himself every few hours to make sure that my pain relief never fully wore off.

21

The next day, Ray clearly awoke with a renewed determination to get me out of the cage, placing my breakfast on the bedside table instead of bringing it to me.

I waited for him to leave before scurrying over to collect my food and bring it back to the cage. At lunchtime, he changed tack again and told me that my lunch was waiting for me downstairs.

“This isn’t a hotel. It’s time for you to come out now.” When I didn’t move, he held up the blister pack of pain tablets. “These have to be taken with food. If you don’t eat, I can’t give them to you.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Won’t.”

That was a pretty big flaw in my plan. I would have been happy to forgo the lunch, but I didn’t think I was ready to go without the pain meds yet.

“You want to cause me more pain.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“But you’re going to.”

“I’m giving you the choice.”

“Obedience or pain. That’s not a choice.”

“It should be an easy one.”

“You’re right. I will never obey you again.” I turned away from him and lay back down. I hoped I appeared more resolved than I felt. In reality, I was terrified at the prospect of the medicine wearing off.

“Well. You know where to find me when you change your mind.”

*

When he returned a few hours later it was to find me shivering and crying on the floor of the cage. The pain was not as bad as it had been originally, but it was definitely still there, and without the sedative effect of the medicine, it was getting harder to keep my emotions at bay. That, combined with the effort of not giving in and going to Ray for help, was proving too much for me. Ray sighed heavily.

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