Page 24 of Reclaimed

But, as always, his resolve was stronger. He gave my arm a final affectionate squeeze before getting up to make dinner, leaving me to try and cool myself down and remember that I was supposed to be resisting him.

12

“Happy birthday, beautiful.”

I couldn’t help but smile as I sat up in bed. Ray looked like he was more excited about my birthday than I was. For all his faults, he did seem to genuinely enjoy making people feel special, or me, at least. He was carrying a breakfast tray laden with food, with just enough room for a small stem vase of flowers in one corner. He set it down on my lap and kissed my cheek before settling on the edge of the bed and passing me a tall flute of champagne.

“Twenty. I can’t believe it. Almost a proper grown-up,” he teased.

“If I’m only just a grown-up now, what was I when we were together?” He was inspiring a playful mood in me. It was my birthday. I was allowed to be in a good mood on my birthday.

“You were my innocent little teenage girlfriend. Not innocent for long though.” He smirked.

“So, am I too old for you now?”

“Ha. Hardly.”

“This looks amazing.”

“This is just the start. You are going to have an amazing day.”

I believed him too. Ray had always been good at making a fuss over me. He was definitely one for the extravagant gestures and had always taken me out to the poshest places, bought the oldest champagne, bought me beautiful things to wear… And even now that we couldn’t go anywhere, I knew that he would have put a lot of thought and effort into this day. It was hard not to feel touched. Who wouldn’t feel good about being so cared for? At the same time, that warmth was tinged with the same sense of foreboding I’d woken up with every day since I’d been there. If I misspoke in any way, if I did anything wrong, everything would be ruined. The smallest thing might trigger Ray, and then the fact that it was my birthday wouldn’t matter at all. I had to keep on his good side today.

“Here’s to you – a smart, beautiful, incredible young woman turning twenty.” He touched his glass gently to mine, and I saw his face was filled with warmth – he had meant every word he said.

Once I’d finished the breakfast, Ray replaced the tray with a bag full of presents. I felt a twinge of guilt – no one else in my life had ever made this much fuss of me, and while I loved it, I still had some residual discomfort about accepting so much from him.

“You didn’t need to do all this.”

“Of course I did. And anyway, I wanted to. I want you to know how special you are.” I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. He could make me feel rage and loathing and fear in an instant, but he could also make me feel more special and loved than anyone else could, and I was grateful for that.

He had gone majorly overboard on the present front, though. There were the usual flashy ones I’d expect from him – some jewellery, some expensive chocolates – but he’d also got me some that were so much more thoughtful than I would have anticipated. He’d bought me an obscenely large coffee cup because I’d complained that his were all too small; he’d got me some slipper socks because it would be autumn soon and he remembered that my feet always got really cold; he’d bought me a selection box of natural skincare products from a brand I was totally obsessed with; and he’d got me an assortment of books to keep me entertained when he wasn’t there.

“I… This is… Thank you.” Before I knew what I was doing, I’d reached out to pull him into a hug. He seemed taken aback at first but then slid his arms cautiously around me as if he was afraid he might spook me.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Now, how about you get dressed, and I’ll go and fill this enormous mug with coffee for you.”

I pulled back, happy but slightly embarrassed at my impulsive display of affection.

“Sounds perfect.”

I took a while choosing what to wear. I wanted to look good today – mostly for me, but partly, if I was honest, for Ray too. He made me feel special, sexy, and I deserved to spend my twentieth birthday feeling wanted. I chose a strappy skater dress but paired it with tights to play it slightly safer. I finally allowed myself to explore some of the racier lingerie options that Ray had provided for me – if it was going under my clothes anyway, then why not wear it? It was beautiful, and I felt beautiful. I wanted to spend more time after my shower trying out my new skincare products, but I didn’t want to keep Ray waiting.

“Sorry, I hope I wasn’t too long.”

“Wow.”

I looked away, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“Hey.” Ray came over and tilted my chin up to look at him. “Don’t hide yourself from me.” His voice was low and dangerous, and for a moment, I thought I’d angered him, but then he leant forwards and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. “You’re far too beautiful to hide.”

But not to be hidden from the world. I knew better than to voice that thought when Ray was in such a good mood.

“Now you sit down and drink your coffee. I made you a playlist; I’ll go and put it on.”

Sitting and chatting to Ray, drinking coffee, listening to all my favourite music, it made me feel so normal and so relaxed. We even made each other laugh. If only he was always like this, being his captive wouldn’t be so bad.

Ray eventually ordered me upstairs to “play with your presents” so that he could get my lunch ready. So far so good. It was nearly midday, and we hadn’t had any disasters.

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