Page 20 of Reclaimed

“You’re so close. I can feel it. Whatever that last one per cent is that’s holding you back from this, let it go. If not for me, then for you. Just let yourself be mine. You know I can take good care of you.”

When he was like this, it was easier to believe that he really could take good care of me. But I hadn’t forgotten everything that had come before. And I knew that he was still volatile. I knew that his ability to hurt me was still there.

“Here’s what we’re going to do.” Ray sounded firm, decisive. “You’re going to spend an hour every day in this cage. Maybe that will remind you that you are not free, and that you don’t get to make the decisions here. Hopefully, your behaviour will improve, and you won’t have to feel guilty about not escaping.”

Ray didn’t seem to require an answer, so I simply allowed him to help me out of the cage. He wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his face into my hair.

“My special girl… let yourself be happy for once.”

I smiled weakly at him before heading to my own room for the night.

10

The cage became a new part of our daily routine. It helped me feel a little calmer, but it couldn’t fully assuage my guilt for the life I was living with Ray. I was choosing to go in the cage – a real captive wouldn’t have a choice. If I was resisting properly then Ray would have been forced to keep me in there, or to chain me up – I’d still be begging for him to let me go, even if it meant that he’d hurt me. I’m sure that’s more what David imagined when he thought about what I might be enduring with Ray – not me doing errands for him at home and cuddling up to him on the sofa every evening. I made the mistake of voicing these thoughts to Ray one day when he came to release me from the cage.

“Maybe you should just leave me in here.”

“Why would I do that?”

I shrugged. “Isn’t that what’s meant to happen when you kidnap someone?”

He scoffed. “I wouldn’t know – I haven’t done this before you know.”

I hated how easy it was for him to make light of everything, like this was some kind of joke to him. “If I’m your captive, I should be fighting you.”

“You’d feel better if you struggled more?”

“I should have tried.” I clenched my fists until my nails dug into my palms. David would be disgusted with me.

“What difference would it have made? You knew it wouldn’t work, so you didn’t try; that just means you were acting rationally. It doesn’t make you a coward.”

I still didn’t move from the cage, despite the open door. He was just lying to make me feel better, or at least to make me more amenable.

“You want to see what would have happened? Come on, I’ll show you. Get up.” He stood up abruptly and positioned himself in front of the door.

“What? No, that’s—”

“Up. Now. Come on. I’m all that’s between you and your way out. If you get past me and through this door, you’re free.”

I stared at him, incredulous.

“Don’t you want your freedom?”

“I can’t just walk up to you and hit you.”

“Just try to get past me then.”

I didn’t believe that he would really let me go even I did somehow get past him, but I needed to try.

I walked up to him and tentatively reached past his torso for the handle. He grabbed my wrist and jerked my arm away. I tried to pull it free, but he was too strong. I used my free arm to thump his chest, but he barely reacted.

“Come on, Callie, like you mean it.”

I swung my arm up towards his face, but he caught that arm too and forced them both down on either side of my body, flipping me around to face away from the door. His grip was harsh, but his face was totally calm. Frustrated, I flung all my body weight against him, pinning him momentarily against the door, but then he shoved me forwards so hard that I lost my balance and fell to my knees. I scrambled across the floor desperately trying to put distance between us.

“Giving up so soon?” He was taunting me.

I got clumsily to my feet and tried to run past him to the door – in earnest, this time. But within moments, he’d flung me back onto the floor. This time he followed me down and straddled my legs. I tried to squirm away, but he pinned my wrists to the floor. I tried everything. I tried to free my wrists with all my strength, I tried to dislodge Ray by throwing my hips up, I tried to roll over, I tried to sit up and headbutt him, I tried bringing my knees up, I tried to reach to bite him, I tried to contort my fingers so that I could dig my nails into his hands. None of it made any difference.

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