Page 21 of Reclaimed

“Got any other tricks up your sleeve?”

We both knew Ray had won, but I carried on struggling anyway, furious at myself for not being strong enough to fight him off, or even to hurt him.

Then I noticed that Ray was hard. I froze and our eyes met. A fresh surge of adrenaline coursed through me, and I resumed my desperate struggle, though I had the sickening realisation that me squirming beneath him was probably only going to make matters worse.

“Get off me!” I yelled, bending and twisting my arms at any angle I could to try and free them.

“Or what?”

“I hate you! Let me go! Let me go!”

I was using every ounce of strength I had, straining so hard against Ray’s grip that I was causing myself pain. And he wasn’t even breaking a sweat. Ray suddenly pushed down harder on my wrists, making me cry out. I couldn’t move my arms an inch now. He leant forwards until he was centimetres away from my face.

“Ready to surrender yet?”

And then his lips crashed into mine, and my whole body finally stilled in shock, neither meeting the kiss nor resisting it. This was so wrong, and yet the voice in my head telling me that was quieter now than ever before. I wasn’t even in my head anymore; I was in my body. I was in the sensitive skin of my lips where they met Ray’s, I was in the warm weight of his body pressing me into the floor, I was in the tingling skin of my wrists, tender from the pressure of Ray’s hands and the graze of the carpet, and I was in the feeling of his arousal grinding down into my thigh. I felt like I’d been drugged; I couldn’t think straight. I was feeling everything the wrong way around. I felt both sore and soothed, furious and exhilarated. Nothing made sense. I kissed him back. My thinking mind had gone numb, and my animal mind could only say more, more.

Ray pulled back slightly to examine my face, and I knew he’d be seeing in me exactly what I could see when I looked up at him – flushed skin, glazed eyes, raw hunger. He leant back down until his lips were almost touching my ear.

“Do you know how hard it’s been not to fuck you where you stand ever since you got here?”

He’d hidden it well, but I’d known all along it must have been there – this lust. This is how we were wired, whether we liked it or not. We needed this. And no one had ever given it to us as well as the other had. And now we were going back there. He was going to take me, and it wouldn’t even be the rape I’d imagined it would be. I needed him.

He sat up, and my skin immediately mourned the loss of his warmth.

“But I have a feeling my prize will taste just that bit sweeter if I wait a little longer.”

I didn’t want him to see my face. It wasn’t that I was disappointed… It was just… He’d already taken this so far. How was he showing so much restraint – more than me – when this was what he’d longed for all this time? What was he waiting for?

“How will you know when it’s time?”

“I’ll know.” He stood. “You okay?”

“Yes,” I lied. I was beyond frustrated, and his cool collectedness after what had just happened was only angering me more.

“So, do you accept now that it would have been futile for you to have tried to escape?”

I nodded.

“Good. I’m going to need a quick shower to… take care of things. Why don’t you go and get yourself a drink, anything you want. Unless you’d rather watch of course.” He smiled at me suggestively and I could have punched him. Did he want me or not?

“I definitely need a drink.”

Ray laughed.

“Go on then. Make one for me too.”

The thought of Ray in that shower didn’t help my jitteriness. I couldn’t help but picture him, and for a reckless moment, I almost changed my mind about joining him. If I just went in and stripped, started touching him… Surely, then he wouldn’t be able to keep up this self-control act any longer. But no, it was only my arousal that was making me feel so bold. An hour earlier, I had still been dreading the idea of doing anything sexual with Ray, and that was the real me, the rational one, the one who had to stay in charge so that I didn’t completely lose myself in this situation. I could wait it out. This feeling would go away on its own, eventually, and then I’d just have to make sure I didn’t let myself get into this kind of state around him again. I took a large gulp of my drink. I hadn’t been concentrating and had made it too strong, but maybe that was necessary. Despite how long it had been, I could still easily bring the image of his naked body to mind. I imagined his groans as he came in the shower, his whole body tensing and relaxing under the rushing water as he reached the peak of his pleasure…

Stop! Think of anything else, just not that.

We’d had shower sex before, obviously. Possibly in every hotel we’d ever stayed in. We’d stayed in some stunning places together – places with waterfall showers, giant bathtubs, pool tables…

I reined my thoughts back in again. Was my mind really this undisciplined? I heard Ray’s footsteps on the stairs and tried to pull myself together.

“Gin and tonic. Good decision.” He took a sip and winced slightly before smiling. “Without the tonic, apparently.”

“Sorry.”

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