Page 14 of Reclaimed

6

Ray had clearly decided that it was best just to let me fester for as long as I needed in my room. My anger and stubbornness wore off after a few hours, and when I could see the day outside beginning to turn into dusk, I made my way tentatively downstairs. The sound of pots and pans led to me to the kitchen where Ray was busy making dinner.

“Is your tantrum over?”

“Yes,” I replied nervously.

“Good. Come and have a drink with me.” He pulled out a seat for me at the island counter and poured me a glass of wine.

“Thank you.”

He carried on preparing the food, not saying anything, but brushing his hand against my back each time he walked past.

“Can I help?”

He looked surprised but pleased. “Of course. Here, you can grate this.”

The silence felt less awkward once I was occupied. If I pictured the scene from someone else’s point of view I could see how it would look completely normal – domestic, simple, warm; just a loving couple cooking and drinking wine together. I wished that was what it felt like.

“Let’s eat in here tonight. You can set the table and choose some music – on the iPod over there.” There’d never been much of an overlap in our music taste, but Ray had obviously added several artists he knew I liked. Had he remembered all this? Or had he found it out from somewhere?

When I’d left Ray, and he had reacted so vengefully, I’d had no idea how far he would be willing to go. David had warned me that he might try to have me followed. I had thought that was preposterous at the time. Ray was just a jealous ex, not a crazed psychopath. But then another friend had suggested the same thing, and I had started to wonder if it could be true. Did everyone see him so differently? Had I been totally naïve? Suddenly I hadn’t felt safe leaving my house. I had felt the need to look over my shoulder all the time. I had felt like every car that passed me on the street was him, out looking for me. Maybe it hadn’t been such a wild idea, after all. Maybe the men who brought me here had been watching me for ages, reporting back to Ray—

“Can’t find anything you like?”

“Oh right, sorry.”

Conscious of my renewed determination not to rock the boat, I chose an album we both liked and gave Ray a weak smile as I sat back down.

“It smells nice.”

“Good. I think you’ll like it.” He’d also topped up my wine when I wasn’t looking. I wanted to stay calm and agreeable, but I also wanted to be in control of myself. I decided to soak it up with plenty of food and took a generous helping, which seemed to please Ray. He kept the conversation light, safe, which I was grateful for – it made it easier to play along.

“I thought we could watch a film tonight.” It didn’t sound like a question, but I agreed anyway. He showed me how to search through films on his TV and then went to clean up. I offered to help, still feeling weird about him doing things like that for me, but he insisted.

When he came through, he brought the wine bottle and a bar of chocolate with him. Like it was date night.

The sofa was big enough to seat four people comfortably, but Ray chose to sit right beside me. I wasn’t exactly surprised – he’d already made it clear he felt a sense of entitlement over my body. He went to fill my glass, but I quickly reached out and put my hand over it.

“I think I’ve had enough, if… if that’s okay.” I watched him nervously for signs of anger, but he simply shrugged.

“Suit yourself.”

I’d chosen a classic family action film – one that I knew had nothing remotely sexual or romantic in it, and nothing likely to make me emotional either. I felt anxious enough at Ray’s proximity, and I didn’t want to encourage him further. Thankfully he didn’t seem to have any intention of actually touching me – he just put his arm on the sofa behind my head and drank his wine. Suddenly I started to worry about what this must look like. I imagined David showing up to rescue me and seeing me like this on the sofa with Ray – watching a film, drinking wine… He’d think I’d left him voluntarily, or that I’d given up on him already. I felt unclean, traitorous. I desperately wanted it to be him on that sofa, wanted to snuggle into his warm body, wanted to enjoy some more wine knowing it didn’t matter because I was safe with him. Suddenly the film stopped playing, and I was brought sharply back to reality. Ray was looking at me.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.” I smiled unconvincingly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry, I was just daydreaming.”

“Callie, look at me.” Not the eye contact again – it was his trump card. I knew it would shatter any illusion of safety I’d managed to create.

“Please, Ray, you know I can’t. I’m fine, I promise.”

“Look at me, now.” He sounded so threatening I couldn’t refuse. I took a deep breath and met his gaze. “Tell me again that you’re fine.”

“I…” I knew lying would anger him, so I decided to give him a version of the truth. “I’m still just a bit overwhelmed, by everything, but I’m okay.” I couldn’t hold his gaze any longer and let my eyes fall to my lap. In the past that would have earnt me a punishment, but for now, he seemed satisfied with my answer.

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

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