Page 74 of Break for Me

“What was that?” She pressed anyway.

“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you, honey buns.”

“This doesn’t really feel like a time for stupid names,” she said. “Please, Jersey. I need to know what’s happening in your head.”

“Why?” I asked, opening the door of the building.

I went in first, like I was ready to protect her from fists or gunfire or other Executioners. All the things I’d been doing for the whole trip out here. But it wasn’t necessary here. What happened to her from this point wasn’t part of the job. I was supposed to tie her to the chair that was in the middle of the room. And then I was supposed to walk back out.

“Sit,” I said and pointed to the chair. I went to the table that sat a few feet away from said chair for the rope that had been left coiled there, and I tried with all my fucking willpower to not look at the other items laid across that table.

“God, Jersey,” Memphis said. “What are all those for?”

“Punishment.”

“I think I could’ve lived my entire life without seeing that,” she said.

My hands shook when I picked up the rope. Something I was certain that Memphis could see through the little camera on my jacket, but I was appreciative of her silence on the matter. Everything felt so much worse to turn to see Trista just fucking sitting in that chair. All the fight was gone. She was just waiting now. Accepting it. I knelt in front of her to start tying her ankles to the legs of the chair.

“Jersey, can you tell me how you feel about this girl?” Memphis asked.

“No.”

“No, you can’t tell me? Or no, you don’t have feelings?” She asked.

“Just —. No.”

I paused when I finished tying her ankles.

“Look at her, Jersey.”

“No.”

“I don’t ask you for anything. Do me this favor.”

I scoffed. “I’m going to call hardcore BS on that one, Memphis. All you do is ask me for things”

“Jersey Boy.”

I looked up to two deep brown eyes that were drowning in unspilled tears. I shifted quickly to get behind her to start tying her hands.

“Are you going to regret this?” Memphis asked. My hands moved faster to finish tying and I turned around as quickly as I could to walk back to the door. I thought I might be able to breathe again if I just made it back outside. I was wrong.

“Sometimes you don’t know what you really want until what you want is gone,” Memphis said. “Will you ever forget this moment, Jersey? Will you look at this moment years from now and think about how you should’ve turned around?”

I hustled toward Seph. Distance was what I needed. Physical distance would keep me from doing something stupid.

“I need to tell you something,” Memphis said.

“I don’t know how much more I can listen to right now, Memphis.”

“I did a lot of digging. Way too much. I know who our President is.”

“What? Why?” I asked. Her words glued me in place.

“Something about all of this didn’t sit well with me. You asked me to look harder into who Nate Evans was. You didn’t have to say the words for me to know why. You needed me to give you a reason to not go through with this one. I know you look at that girl who’s completely alone and see some version of yourself.”

“Do you have one?” I asked quickly. “A reason?”

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