Page 49 of Mad Love

“Emotions are messy.” I knew that better than most. “But he’s trying.”

“I shouldn’t care.” Her nose wrinkled adorably as she tried to fight what she felt for Court. “But dammit, I still do.”

“He’s a lucky bastard,” I told her, shaking my head. “So am I. The shit I put Maddie through… I don’t know why she’s still with me.”

“She loves you.” Bex said it like that answer alone was the key to every problem in the world.

Maybe, in my world, it was.

“I’m not good for her,” I confessed. “But I’m too selfish to let her go. I need her. She’s everything good in me.”

“That’s not true. Cori alone is proof of that.” Bex reached out and touched my hand. “You’re not your father, Ryan. You’re not a monster.”

I looked at where her hand rested on mine. “A lot of people would disagree with that.”

“Not the ones who matter.”

The corner of my mouth hooked up. “Touché.”

I heard his footsteps before he even entered the room, but it wasn’t a surprise; Court didn’t stray far from Bex.

“Hey.” Uncertainty lingered in his voice as he looked at us, not accusing, but confused as to why I’d be alone with her. It wasn’t like Bex and I were best friends. When we were kids, Court was the one she was always hanging around. I could count on my fingers the number of times I’d been alone with her, and most of the occurrences were after I’d met Maddie.

“Everything okay?” Court stared at Bex like he could see through her head and read her mind. Or like he wished he could.

“Totally fine,” Bex said with a bright smile that even I could tell was forced.

Court’s gaze jerked from me to her. “I thought you might want to finish going over differentials, but if you’re busy…” His dark gaze snapped to me, his brows arched.

I stepped back. “I need to find Ash. We were just… catching up.”

“Thanks, Ryan,” Bex called as I retreated.

“Anytime,” I assured her, surprised that I meant it. For so long, my world had contained only four people: Corinne, Ash, Linc, and Court. Now the circle of people I cared about was getting bigger, which meant I had a lot more support.

And a lot more to lose.

CHAPTER 19

RYAN

The house we’d bought came with a massive formal dining room. Since none of us had the time or inclination to shop for furniture, we’d bought it with everything included, which meant an eighteen-foot-long solid oak table with seating for twenty.

Ash had taken over the room as his command center, setting up routers and cables in addition to no less than five computers. I half expected to see a cot shoved into the corner.

Walking in, I wondered if maybe I should move the bed in for him.

Ash looked like shit.

“Hey.” He didn’t look up from the screen of laptop number four as he finished off an energy drink and put the can next to more than a dozen empties.

I vaguely remembered some health article about a guy who’d had a heart attack after drinking six of those things in succession.

Pulling out the chair across from him, I slowly sank down. “I’m worried.”

“I know. Me too. But I think I’m getting close to finding her,” Ash muttered, his green eyes moving as he read whatever was on the screen.

“I mean about you,” I clarified.

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