Page 60 of Mad As Hell

“It’s your business, Maddie,” he told me firmly. “I mean, technically it was your sister’s, but now it’s yours. I think you’ve had your privacy and shit violated enough lately, don’t you?”

“Thanks,” I murmured, touched by his consideration.

“For whatever it’s worth, I think you should consider if you really want to know more. That shit you saw with your sister as a kid? I’m sure that’s not the only thing Madelaine kept hidden. You’re already dealing with a lot. Think about whether or not you want to shoulder any more of her fucked up history before you open the app, okay?” Ash pressed his lips together, his brow furrowed with concern.

“I will,” I replied.

“I mean, it doesn’t have to be Ryan, but…”

I sighed. “Just say it, Ash.”

“He loves you. He knows he messed up. He’d want to be there for you.” He gave me a small half-smile.

“So much for not pleading his case, huh?” I smirked and shook my head, not upset. It was hard to be angry at Ash for looking out for his best friend.

“He’s my brother in every way that matters,” Ash admitted. “I’ve seen him at his highest highs and lowest lows. I know shit about him no one else does, which is why I know I’ve never seen him like this. He’s a fucking mess, Maddie, but you make him better.”

I glanced down, unable to maintain eye contact anymore. “He hurt me, Ash. And what happened after…” I shuddered at the memory. At Gary’s fist connecting with my face. At Adam’s leering gaze as he drove me to school. At the way my mom sagged between the men who had held her, her glassy eyes vacant.

“If you want to talk about what happened, I’m here. I know I’m not Ryan or Bex, but I can keep a secret, and I won’t judge.” His simple offer almost made me break the promise I’d made to myself that I was done crying over all of this.

Instead, I just nodded and swallowed around the uncomfortable lump in my throat.

Ash clapped his hands together. “Great, so we’re done with the emotional shit for now, right?”

A laugh bubbled out of me and I nodded, grateful for the change in topic. “Definitely.”

“Hungry?”

My stomach growled in response, and I hesitated. The last thing I needed was my mom suffering because I ate a rogue piece of bacon.

Ash’s eyes narrowed. “We can eat here. I’m not the best cook, but I can handle breakfast. Bex spent the night, too, so she’s probably hungry.”

My brows flew up. “Bex spent the night?”

Ash laughed. “Yeah. In my room. I slept on the floor. She mentioned castrating Linc or Court if they tried sleeping near her, and she wasn’t leaving without you. Even with Dean gone and the guys in the house on notice, I wasn’t leaving her on a couch downstairs.”

“Look at you being the good guy,” I teased with a smile.

He grimaced and shook his head. “Look, if you want to help me out? Sort shit out with Ryan. Or convince Bex to sort shit out with Court and Linc. My back can’t handle sleeping on that floor again.”

I snorted a laugh. “Noted, but I’m not promising anything.”

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes. “So, breakfast? Or brunch, I guess it is now?”

“I should go to the cafeteria,” I hedged carefully.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Maddie, but you look like shit.”

I flinched, even though his tone was calm and even.

“If I notice, you bet your ass that Ryan’s noticed. He probably thinks it’s something he did, but I have a feeling there’s something else going on here, Maddie. Something that has me worried.” His unyielding gaze was somehow kind and hard at the same time.

I drew in a slow, shaky breath. “I can’t talk about it, Ash.” Part of me wanted to. Ash might even be able to give me some insight, but I was also aware that he was Ryan’s best friend. That loyalty would probably always come first.

He closed his eyes for a brief second. “Okay. But if it gets to be too much, promise me you’ll come to one of us. I don’t care who, but…” He hesitated for a second before going on. “Maddie, you’re one of us now. Not just Ryan’s… whatever. You’re my friend. Or at least, I’d like to think you are.”

“I’d like to think that, too,” I confessed quietly, the barbed wire wrapped around my heart loosening a tiny amount.

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