Page 57 of Mad As Hell

“Think you can handle some painkillers and water?” he asked, taking care to keep his voice soft.

“Yeah,” I muttered, weakly lifting my head and letting Ryan gently maneuver me into a sitting position against the headboard. I kept my eyes closed and focused on breathing in the clean scent of soap from his shower.

Two pills were pressed into my palm, and I threw them back before reaching for the bottle of water he had readily available. I downed half of it, needing something to wash the ick out of my mouth. Once I was able to stand on my own two feet, I planned to march into the bathroom and guzzle a bottle of mouthwash.

I finished drinking the water and took a deep breath, relieved that the pounding in my head was less like a freight train and more like a jackhammer.

Progress.

Only then did I crack an eye open to see he was sitting next to me on his bed in nothing but a towel slung deliciously low on his hips. His tanned skin was damp from his shower, and a bead of water had the freaking audacity to glide down the ridges of his abs. His blonde hair was dark from being wet and had curled around the edges of his face in an almost boyish way.

Shit, I wasn’t supposed to be checking him out. I lifted my eyes and caught his smug ass smirk.

“What?” I demanded flatly. I waved a hand in his general direction. “We both know you’re hot, Ryan. I’m not going to apologize for looking at what you’re offering.”

“Look away,” he chuckled. He stood and rested a hand on the precariously loose knot of the towel. “I can give you an unobstructed view if you want. Hell, I’ll even give you a demonstration of how certain parts work.”

I sighed heavily, the teasing banter souring in my stomach. “I’ve had that view plenty of times. It’s not the view that’s the issue, or the equipment. It’s the man behind it.”

His jaw clenched for a second, his gaze hardening, and then he turned away to his dresser. I watched the phoenix tattoo on his shoulders writhe and move with each flex of his muscles. The mythical bird rippled as though it would take flight from his skin at any second.

Until he caged it by covering it with a black shirt that clung to his biceps in a way that was a gift to all women. Hell, forget gender norms. Anyone with a pulse would look at him.

A tight black shirt and frayed jeans were the uniform of every bad boy, and Ryan Cain could be their front man.

“How are you feeling?” he asked in a gruff tone, reaching for the watch on his dresser and clasping it around his wrist.

“Like shit,” I muttered, unable to muster anything even halfway witty. I pulled my knees to my chest and ran a hand through my hair. I frowned, the memories of last night a little blurry. “I don’t usually drink that much.”

“I’ve noticed,” he replied while coming back to the bed and sitting at the foot of it. The space between us felt so wrong and uncomfortable. “I’m sorry.”

My brows lifted. “What did you do this time?”

“I’m guessing I had something to do with the drinking.” He winced and shook his head.

I snorted. “I make my own decisions, Ryan. Not everything I say or do is because of you.”

Honestly, of all the crap I was dealing with at the moment, Ryan being a semi-decent human wasn’t even cracking the top five.

He hissed out a breath through clenched teeth. “Dammit, Maddie, I’m trying here.”

“Do you want an award?” I stared at him incredulously as that same yawning pit of betrayal gaping between us was ripped open again. “What? You think because you did the right thing for once with Dean that you get a pass? That it erases every other shitty decision you’ve made? That it changes the fact that you turned your fucking back on me when I needed you most?”

His hands balled into fists, the veins on his forearms popping out. “Madison, I know I messed up.”

“I know that you know,” I shot back. “And you know what else I know? I don’t care. The only reason I’m at this school is because I have to be. The only reason I haven’t run out of this room screaming is because I have to be here.”

He flinched like I’d landed a physical blow. A muscle in his jaw ticked. “Then leave. I won’t stop you. I won’t force you to come back.”

“Until the next party, right?” I sneered, disgust welling up in me. “Until the next time your dad or Gary demand you parade me out like a pretty little show pony for the world to look at. Then I can go back to my room and wait like a good girl for the next time I’m needed.”

Ryan stared at me for a beat. “Maddie, I want to find a middle ground here. At least until you can accept my apology as truth and we can move on.”

“Fine. Apology accepted. I believe you’re truly sorry that you jumped to conclusions that ended what we had. Let’s move on,” I huffed, tugging the sheets up to my neck like that would somehow make me feel less exposed in front of the one person who had been able to see past my bullshit.

He stabbed his fingers through his hair. “Tell me what I can do to fix this, Mads. I mean really fix it.”

“You can build a time machine and go back to the moment you fucked me,” I spat, my heart clenching.

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