Page 140 of Mad As Hell

Ryan looked past me at his friends, his expression more serious than I’d ever seen. “Give us a minute?”

Oh, hell. This really wasn’t good.

He waited for Ash, Court, and Bex to leave before leading me to the couch. He sat me down and perched on the edge of the coffee table across from me.

“Shit. How do I even start to explain this?” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking lost and more than a little distraught.

I grabbed his other hand. “Hey, it’s me. Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

A nervous laugh slipped from him. “Promise?”

That was a no-brainer. “Yeah. I promise. I’m right here, Ry. Talk to me.”

He blew out a long breath. “Okay. You know about the clubs Linc’s dad has? There’s a… price for membership.” He met my eyes. “The four of us all paid it. It was expected, and we weren’t given a choice. It’s also why we decided to stop our dads once and for all. It was the catalyst.”

“Okay, I got it. You had to do something bad, I’m assuming?” My breath caught, wondering how bad it could really be.

He nodded and looked down at the space between us, his throat moving as he tried to control his emotions. “It differs, but it’s determined by our father when we turned sixteen. It’s a pretty incestuous, fucked-up secret club when you think about it.”

I could only imagine what sick thing Beckett had coerced his son into.

“The point is, to make sure no one talks about what goes on in the club, there's insurance. A video. My dad was supposed to keep my tape and use it if I ever tried to betray the group.”

My brow furrowed. “So Beckett will release it if you take him down?”

He shook his head. “No. I made the tape part of my deal with him when I agreed to marry Madelaine. He destroyed it. I watched it burn, Maddie.”

“He could’ve made copies,” I pointed out.

“No. He couldn’t. Trust me.”

“Someone did.”

“I don’t know how,” he replied, frustration lacing his words. “I guess it doesn’t matter now. But if it gets out…”

“What’s on the tape?”

He met my eyes and didn’t flinch. “I killed someone.”

I absorbed the announcement like a blow, bowing my head and hissing a breath. “Who?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me,” I insisted, lifting my head and searching his eyes.

His jaw clenched and glanced away resolutely. “I’m not making you an accessory after the fact. There’s no statute of limitations on murder, Madison.”

I swallowed roughly. “Did he at least deserve it?” I needed to justify this somehow.

He gave a slow nod. “Yes, she did.”

I clenched my teeth. “Ryan—”

“Beckett wanted to put her husband in his place after he fucked up a big deal. He told me to kill the guy’s wife. I considered not doing it. I watched her for weeks to learn her routine, and that’s when I saw her beating the shit out of her son. He was born with Down’s Syndrome. He would do something she didn’t like, and she’d lose it. Even broke his arm once. That’s how I justified it, baby. I thought of Cori and…”

I squeezed his hands, understanding. Maybe that made me borderline psychotic, but I couldn’t be bothered to care about people who preyed on the vulnerable. Especially when they were supposed to be loving and protecting them.

“If you hadn’t seen her do that, would you have still done it?”