Page 57 of Nigel

“From what Igather, it always is.”

“Hmm. I missyou. Am I allowed to say that?”

“I miss youtoo. Now I am going home to my empty home. You spoiled nights for me.I am going home to stare up at the ceiling and try and get somesleep.” She switched her phone over to the car system so shecould have her hands free.

“I will try andwrap things up quickly,” he sighed. “I was thinking allthe time on the flight.”

“About?”She waited for a break in traffic to pull out. It was summer and itseemed like everyone was out on the road and it was not three in theafternoon.

A city bus pulledacross from her and people of all ages spilled out, forcing her tostop to accommodate the pedestrians. School was out, which meant themalls and shopping centers were busy doing brisk business.

“What I didbefore I met you. You have become such an integral part of my lifethat I cannot see myself without you.”

Her knees felt weakand she could feel the damn tears coming again. “I am driving,”she whispered hoarsely. “And in this god-awful traffic at threein the fricking afternoon, I have to concentrate on the road.

When you say thingslike that to me, it makes me weepy and vulnerable. I hate beingvulnerable. I hate the fact that I want you so much that I feel lostwithout you. I hate-“ She broke off and bit her lip.

“Do you want meto apologize darling?” he asked her softly. “Do you wantme to tell you that this is the norm? It’s not and it scares mehow much I have fallen and so quickly.

What I felt for Saraall those years ago pales in comparison to what I feel for you now.Ava, you are the heart of me – my life and I could neversurvive if I lost you.”

She concentratedfiercely on the intersection that was going to take her home. “IfI did not love you so much, I would cheerfully hate you,” shetold him huskily. “Take care of you and hurry up and come backto me.”

“I willdarling. I love you.”

She felt the tearssliding down her cheeks and did nothing to stop them.

*****

As soon as she wasupstairs in her room, she stripped in front of the mirror and did anevaluation. She had never been one to check herself out every fewminutes or care what bag matches what shoes. She hated shopping witha passion and could count on one hand the number of dresses sheowned.

She had wanted to beone of the 'boys'. Had wished desperately that she possessed a penis.She had been brought up into a home with just boys and it had rubbedoff on her. She knew she looked good. Her skin tone was a smoothcocoa brown and her complexion was flawless.

She had a turned-upnose, which she wrinkled as she continued to stare at her reflection.her eyebrows were perfectly arched and her mouth was too full, or soshe had told herself. her face was round and when she smiled, thedimples popped.

Her breasts were notlarge for her size, but just right, whatever the hell that meant. Herstomach was flat and not pudgy and she had a gym where she spent timein the morning biking on her Peloton.

Her hair was thickand naturally curly and that was where the bulk of her money went.She was always trying out new products, going on YouTube to see thelatest. What did he see in her?

She pondered thequestion as she pulled the pins out and dragged her fingers throughthe curls. He could have anyone, why her? And he wanted to marry her.It was not just put on. He seemed to genuinely be in love with her.Head over heels in love.

What had she done inthe past to be blessed with something so wonderful? Turning away fromthe mirror, she went to get a robe to slide over nakedness, beforereaching for the framed photo of the smiling woman. Her mother.

Sweet and patient andkind - long suffering. She had wanted the best for her children andhad never complained that she had to clean rich people's houses toget what she wanted so that her children could eat and have a roofover their heads.

"Would you havebeen pleased with him, mama?" she asked the photo softly. "Ispent so much time dumping on you about the rich people you workedfor and resenting the way they treated you and now I am stuck on arich guy. Life has a way of kicking you in the butt." With asigh, she put the photo away and turned towards the bed.

She was just about togo downstairs to get some tea when her phone rang. A smile touchedher lips as she picked it up and prepared to spend some time talkingto the man she was head over heels in love with.

*****

"Come to bed,”Maria urged.

“Not just yet.”He sent her a brief smile, eyes wandering over the skimpy black lacethat posed as an excuse for a nightgown. A rather poor one indeed. Hecould see every inch of her pale white skin through the material.

“I should havestayed in my den. You are distracting me.”

“That was theplan.” She stared at him thoughtfully. “I happen to knowyou, since we have been married for what seems like ages. You werealready distracted. What is it?”

---