Page 11 of Christmas Creek Cowboy

Emmy leveled her eyes on him. “Read it, and you’ll know why.”

Calen was reasonably sure he’d rather read a four-thousand-page treatise on the life cycle of a flea, but that was only because it wouldn’t turn his life upside down. He suspected whatever was in this letter might do just that. Still, he couldn’t just blow off her request, not when the letter was obviously troubling Emmy enough to take it from the bag and then bring it to him.

Wishing it wasn’t too early for a shot of the whiskey he might need, Calen opened the envelope and took out the single-page handwritten letter. Even though his voice suddenly felt a little unsteady, heread it aloud.

“Calen, I didn’t want to ring in another new year without telling you how much you mean to me. You’re probably going to be shocked to hear this, but I’m inlove with you.”

He stopped. Had to. And he dragged in a fast breath. He didn’t look at Emmy. Calen just focused on getting through the rest of the letter. Then, he’d deal with the five words that were flashing in his mind like a big-ass neon sign.

I’m inlove with you.

Powerful words indeed, but he reminded himself that Emmy had written them when she was eighteen. Technically an adult, but still very young. It was possible she hadn’t known what she was saying. Possible, too, that she no longer felt the same way.

“I’m guessing my confession surprises you,” he continued to read, “but I don’t want you to say anything right away. Please think about it for a day or two and then call me. Of course, if you decide not to mention it at all, I’ll understand. If that’s what you decide, I will still always love you in secret while forever and always being your best friend.”

She’d signed itLove, Emmy. Simple. Straightforward. And like a blasted arrow to his heart. Crap. What was he supposed to say now? What was he to think, especially with that whole “love you insecret” clause?

He cleared his throat, hoping the right words would magically spout from his mouth. They didn’t. Thankfully, though, he came up with something rather than just standing there, looking as if she’d sucker punched him.

“Why didn’t you give this to me in person seventeen years ago?” he asked. “And why giveit to me now?”

“Because it twisted me up to lie to you. We’ve both been with liars, and I didn’t want to be a member of that particular club.”

Well, he couldn’t fault her for that. They had indeed had enough lies to last them a couple of lifetimes, and the one thing he’d always been certain of was that he’d get the truth from Emmy.

Except he hadn’t.

“You kept your feelings from me all thistime,” he said.

She nodded, paused, nodded again, and downed her Pepsi like medicine. Apparently, she was also hoping for words to magically appear.

“Trust me when I say that I agonized over that letter, but I felt as if I couldn’t keep my feelings to myself any longer,” she explained. “However, when you didn’t mention anything about it, I figured you just wanted the whole situation to go away.”

“I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t know this existed.” Calen held up the letter. “I sure as hell didn’t know that you believed you were in love withme back then.”

He waited for her to spell out to him whether she still felt that way, whether she’d been hiding her true feelings for him all this time. But she didn’t volunteer any information. Maybe because the “in love” part was long gone. That made sense because, after all, she had gotten engaged to Owen.

Calen released a long, slow breath that was definitely one of relief. Emmy wasn’t in love with him, and showing him this old letter was just about coming clean.That was good.

He wondered why it didn’t feel as good asit should have.

“I’m okay,” she assured him. “I’m not going to break into a millionlittle pieces.”

But he could guess how she’d reacted seventeen years ago. “How much did you cry when I didn’t say anything about the letter?” he asked.

The corner of her mouth lifted into a not-so-smiley smile. “Loads.” She paused. “But after a while, I was just thankful that you went on as if the letter hadn’t happened. Which, of course, it hadn’t as far as you were concerned because younever read it.”

No, he hadn’t read it because Waylon hadn’t delivered it to him. His father had stuffed it in an attic until it’d come to light after all this time. And that caused the what-ifs tostart spinning.

Calen wasn’t sure what he would have done if he’d read this letter when he was eighteen. He wouldn’t have been able to respond, “I’m in love with you.” He loved her, yes, but in those days, he hadn’t noticed her tasty mouth.

Allright, he had.

But he’d shoved his attraction to her aside because he hadn’t wanted to lose her. In those days, he had a lousy track record with romance. Hell, he still did. And he wouldn’t have wanted to risk hurting her by jumping in headfirst, only to have things cool between them. Or worse, completely ice over. Again, with his track record, he didn’t want totake the risk.

A risk like that earlierkiss had been.

“Yes, it’s scary to dive into something that could change everything between us,” Emmy said, obviously sharing his risks and doubts.

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