Page 120 of Dark Knight

“Of course it fucking matters, you idiot.” When I start to move toward her, she shakes her head and backs away. “It’s not that easy. You hurt me – again. And I keep letting you get away with it. I’m not doing it anymore. If you really care, you’ll have to show me with more than words this time.”

“What can I do? What do you need from me?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe you’ll have to figure it out.” I almost can’t believe my eyes when she turns away again. “You should go. I’m busy.”

That’s it? I come in here and tell her I love her, and she returns to packing? She’s never been easy – the furthest thing from it. But I thought for sure we could work things out. That I’d admit I was wrong, and we’d be happy. How could I have been so wrong?

When I leave the room, it’s not an act of cowardice. I’m not giving up. I’m giving her what she needs, no matter how much I fucking hate it. She wants me to show how I feel in my actions?

This is the first step.

CHAPTER40

TATUM

“You’re sure you’re going to be alright here?”

It’s not easy to laugh at the question. I don’t feel much like laughing. “Sure. I have to finish packing, confirm the movers, and make sure the furniture’s on schedule for delivery. I won’t have time to miss you.” New Year’s Day is as good a time as any to make a new start.

And if there’s anything I need, it’s that.

A chilly breeze sweeps across the front courtyard. Bianca wraps her coat a little tighter around her swollen body and glances toward Romero‘s cottage. “Have you talked to him?”

“You saw us last night at dinner. I was cordial.”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” She bites her lip. “I know you’re miserable without him.”

Miserable? Miserable doesn’t begin to scratch the surface. I wanted to scream all through Christmas dinner while we played 'happy family' and talked about my new apartment and everything Dad had planned for the trip he gifted Bianca yesterday. She didn’t have a clue, and throughout dinner, she was practically bouncing up and down in her chair with excitement. I think that’s a big part of what he loves most. She is genuinely grateful for everything he gives her. That was one area I knew my mother didn’t exactly excel in.

“Nothing’s changed. I told him he needed toshowme his feelings instead of just using his words. Obviously, since he hasn’t done that yet, he doesn’t think it’s essential.” My voice breaks a little, and my smile hardens.

“Give him time.”

“He’s had a week. An entire week.”

“Which is time he also spent training Nathan, packing up his place, making security arrangements for yours…”

“Whose side are you on, anyway?”

“Yours, of course.” She takes my face in her hands. “Always yours. And I know how much you want to be with him, and I want that for you. So, so much. I’m just saying, give him a chance. I know he’s trying.”

“How would you know that, exactly?” It’s not a serious question, really. Then she gets a guilty look on her face, and I drop the fake smile. “Son of a bitch. Have you been talking to him behind my back?”

“Hold up. I can talk to whoever I want, especially when it’s somebody who loves you. And you and I have known each other for so long. He was looking for a little advice. I couldn’t say no. It would’ve been too mean.”

I can’t help it. Who could? “What did you say? What did he say?”

Her eyes twinkle, but she shakes her head. “Nope. You’re going to have to wait and see.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Everything ready?” As usual, Dad finds a way to interrupt us, practically bouncing out of the house wearing a wide smile. Why shouldn’t he? He’s a man with the whole world at his feet. And he’s about to go away for almost a whole week with his bride.

As annoyed as I still am with him — which I am, because I can’t forget how he talked down to me that night in my room – I’m glad to see him like this. For years, I wished he would take it easier. And now here he is, ready to run away from everything. He’s come a long way.

Still, his forehead creases when he looks at me. “I don’t like leaving you alone.”

“You’re only going to be half an hour away, and I’m a big girl.”

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