Page 25 of Soulmates

“I don’t have to pee.”

Jake just said, “Ohhhh. Well, that’s fine. We can manage this.”

And Maddox burst into tears. Maddox was not a big crier. He cried during sad movies sometimes, and he’d cried in front of Jake more than he had anyone else, but this was not a few tears streaming down his face. He was full-on crying. Panic sparked in Jake’s eyes, but Maddox couldn’t stop, and he pulled his hands up to cover his face, dragging Jake a little closer in doing so.

“Maddy, it’s okay. It’s going to happen. It’s a long way to Florida. And we don’t know when we can separate. And, hey, we’ve done this before. We’ve been in the bathroom together before and even had conversations.”

“Yeah, maybe through a stall door,” Maddox half-wailed. He knew he was being a little unreasonable. But hadn’t he been through enough without this?

“Maddy, please, don’t cry. I hate when you cry.”

“You just told me you loved me!” Maddox said between heaving sobs.

“I do love you.”

“And now you are going to be in here when I…”

“Baby, please calm down. I’ll turn my back. I’ll do whatever you need me to do if you please calm down.”

Maddox got himself under control while Jake rubbed his back tentatively and then with more confidence when Maddox didn’t cry harder.

“I guess we have no choice. But please turn around. And don’t look at all. And turn on the sink.”

“I can do that.”

In the end, it could have been worse. The crying had been the most embarrassing part of the whole encounter. He lived through it anyway. And it beat being chased through the woods. Probably.

After Jake peed and they took turns at the tiny sink, Jake turned on the shower while Maddox did the new shimmy they had worked out to get out of their jeans. It should not be this hard to take off clothing. Maybe he needed more sweatpants. Hopefully, Santiago had packed some for him.

Jake once again startled Maddox back to the present and gave him another one of those concerned looks. Jake was already undressed—how had Maddox missed that? He might be tired and somewhat humiliated, but he’d still want to see Jake take his pants off. He’d only been fantasizing about it since they were teenagers.

The tension eased under the hot water as Jake pulled him into the shower.

He let his head fall forward onto Jake’s chest and just stood there limp while Jake used his own bodywash to clean them both.

“Can I wash your hair?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure.”

Jake tipped back Maddox’s head, taking a moment to kiss the base of his throat before pouring some shampoo into his palm, whispering about oranges, and massaging it through Maddox’s strands. Jake took his time massaging Maddox’s scalp until something unclenched in Maddox’s shoulders and chest.

“There we go,” Jake said and turned Maddox to be rinsed. He repeated the process with the conditioner, which Maddox almost told him not to bother with until he thought about what state his hair would be like in by morning without it. If they didn’t get attention on the road with the excessive hand-holding, Maddox’s hair being inhabited by crows would do it.

Jake turned to his own hair, and Maddox watched, transfixed, as Jake scrubbed his head without the gentleness he’d used on Maddox. Gods, was there anything sexier than a man washing his hair with those swift thorough movements? He watched with half-hooded eyes as Jake ran a his hand over his head to a final time to wash and then rinse.

As if Jake read his mind—or at least his expression—he said, “We do not have room for that in here.”

Maddox grinned. “Then let’s go to bed.”

Chapter 19

Maddox hadn’t been quiet about disliking his jeans as he’d shimmied out of them, but thankfully, Santiago had packed them some comfortable clothes. They settled themselves facing each other on the too-small bed. Jake took up most of it, but he didn’t mind the closeness. A few days ago he would have thought the thing he wanted most in this world was to have the right to this level of proximity to Maddox, but now, despite the heated glances in the shower earlier, the thing he wanted most was for Maddox to be safe.

He hadn’t given a lot of thought to safety in recent years. With no wars to fight, not even minor squabbles between the families and factions, and no responsibilities beyond studying, he’d taken safety for granted. But right now, he was scared. Not for himself, but for Maddox. And not because Maddox was incapable but because he cherished Maddox and this thing that was wrong or half-wrong or whatever was because of him. And he couldn’t fix it.

Maddox had lost the sexy look from the bathroom. He’d reverted back to looking exhausted, which was unlike him. Maddox had energy. It was one of his most consistent qualities. Even sick with the flu last year and running a 103.5 degree fever, Jake had been hard-pressed to keep him in bed, plying him with potions provided by the college of healing to which he had begged to have sedation added, which Maddox had immediately balked at.

Jake took a moment to pull the sheet and blanket up to Maddox’s shoulders before bringing their joined hands up to his mouth to brush his lips over each knuckle of Maddox’s fist. Maddox sighed and yawned. Jake huffed out a laugh. “Baby, you are dead on your feet.”

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