Page 20 of Soulmates

Awareness clawed at him from somewhere in the ethers. Through the gaping hole that used to house every thought and hope and desire but now held only a single, selfish urge.

What was he looking for? And why? Killing intent raged through him, biting, clawing its way through the most tender parts of himself, pushing him forward, one foot in front of the other.

Maddox, on the ground. Gods, how he loved Maddox. Even bedraggled and scared and cold, Maddox was precious and perfect.

And he wasn’t.

An agonized pain ripped through Jake’s chest to see Maddox like that, trembling and terrified. Terrified of him. Terrified of the nothing Jake had become.

Pick him up from that frosty ground.

Hold him.

Love him.

The words whispered into the void and, yes, that was what Jake wanted. That was what Jake needed. That was what Jake would do.

But he didn’t.

The sword against Maddox’s neck.

Stop. Stop. Stop. This can’t be happening again.

Acid rose in the back of Jake’s throat, his eyes stinging, his breath caught tight in his chest as he tried to scream, the force of it ripping through him, but no sound came out. Run, Maddox. Get to safety. Away from this place, from this night, from me.

But he couldn’t say it, could only keep moving toward him, keep trying to hurt him. His Maddox.

His Maddox, who was pleading through sweat and dirt and tears.

Please. Not again.

The only warmth in the icy night was in Jake’s palm, heavy, deadly as he lifted it, and everything inside him shattered as he watched the blade swing down.

Chapter 16

Maddox blinked one eye open at the sound of Jake’s voice.

“No. No. No, my Gods, please stop.” Jake’s body jerked under Maddox, his words gritted out through clenched teeth.

The fog of sleep still weighed heavily on Maddox, warring with his reaction to Jake’s distress. A bolt of anxiety shook everything else loose as Jake cried out, and he fell to Jake’s side, scrambling to wake him up.

“Jake,” he said, breathless. “It’s me. It’s Maddox. You’re dreaming.” With no response beyond a moan from Jake, Maddox tried again. “C’mon, Jake, please wake up.” Tension crept across his skin, nearly freezing him in place. Could this be the challenge at work? Or was this a nightmare? Please be a nightmare.

Jake’s skin was cool and damp with beads of sweat soaking into his hair and pillow. Maddox shook him to no avail. He tried pinching him, poking him, begging him, which only seemed to do more harm than good when Jake whimpered.

Finally, out of ideas and worried at the amount of fear radiating off Jake, he did the only thing he could think of. He crawled on top of Jake and pressed their lips together. At first, Jake jolted, and Maddox panicked because consent was a thing, and just because they’d kissed—oh Gods, had they kissed—earlier did not mean Jake wanted to be kissed again. But then Jake wrapped his arm around Maddox and kissed him back for a moment before he began shaking and silently crying. “Maddy, you’re okay, right? I didn’t hurt you?”

“No, not at all. You just scared me because I couldn’t wake you up.”

“No, I mean in the woods. I…I think I was dreaming.” His breath shuddered. “I k-k-killed you in the woods.”

“You didn’t, Jake. You never could.”

“I wanted to.” Pained, Jake turned his face away.

“No,” Maddox said, tightening his hold on Jake. “It was just a dream. I’m fine. We’re fine. Or we will be. It was just a dream.”

Jake shrugged. “It was so real. Gods, I could see you, and you were so scared of me.”

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