Page 18 of Soulmates

With a huff of laughter and a quick prayer of thanks, Jake said, “Oh, thank Gods, me neither.” He started to reach for the button of his jeans but paused. The weight of it all—the weight of his feelings for Maddox, of Maddox knowing about those feelings and that he returned said feelings—suddenly crashed down around Jake.

Maddox shifted slightly and caught Jake’s eye. Jake couldn’t be sure, but he thought he saw his own trepidation reflected back at him in Maddox’s face.

“We shouldn’t freak out about this,” Maddox said, though his tone was definitely a little freaked out. “We’ve seen each other in less, for fuck’s sake.”

They had. Hell, they’d seen each other naked. But… “It’s different now.”

Maddox worried a lip between his teeth as he offered a short nod. “It is,” he said after a moment—a lifetime. “You first.”

“Rude,” Jake said, trying to tease, trying to make the moment even a bit lighter. It seemed to work because Maddox smiled, and with it, Jake’s worries melted away into nothing. Or, at least, almost nothing. He unbuttoned his jeans and shoved them down with his free hand, kicking them off the rest of the way. Just being so near Maddox had his dick hardening, but he tried not to let Maddox see it, let alone feel it. He didn’t want to pressure Maddox for more, didn’t want him to feel like sex was on the table now, or that they had to dive in headfirst. Loving each other didn’t necessarily mean anything more than that, and Jake would rather die than let Maddox be uncomfortable.

Maddox, though, had fewer qualms about it, apparently. He dragged Jake’s hand over his very obvious half-hard cock as he unzipped.

Jake made an involuntary noise, something between a snort of disbelief and a high-pitched moan. “Seriously?”

Maddox blinked at him. “Shit, sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

With a shake of his head, Jake smiled. “It’s definitely no problem,” he muttered, biting back a small laugh.

They lay on their backs, Jake staring into the darkness. Before long, Maddox turned and pressed against Jake, letting out a sigh of contentment that made Jake’s heart ache. He tilted his head enough to press his cheek to the top of Maddox’s head, Maddox’s hair tickling his nose, the scent of oranges coming through even under the smell of dirt and sweat and fear. All the smells of this crazy night. If everything else went to shit, at least he’d still have this. All Jake wanted was to hold on to Maddox and keep him safe. Even if the biggest threat to Maddox was Jake.

“This night,” Maddox began softly, barely a whisper, “has been eight levels of terrible. But I’m not sorry to be in this bed with you.” He paused and took a breath, slid his bare foot against Jake’s under the covers, the crisp cotton of the sheets rustling against their skin. “And I’m not sorry you love me, and I’m definitely not sorry that I love you and that I got to finally tell you. In case you were wondering.”

He had been, if he were being honest. Wondering. Wondering if he’d put too much on Maddox. Who the hell just thrusts their soul at someone? Without asking, without permission. He’d been wondering all night and hearing those words from Maddox eased the ache in him, soothed some of the guilt. In answer, though, Jake simply rolled to his side and wrapped his free arm around Maddox, their bound hands pinned between them as Maddox leaned in to kiss him. A proper kiss this time. The kind that meant it. Meant something more.

Maddox pressed his lips to Jake’s, frantic desperation in the motion, as if he feared he’d lose Jake, as if this moment could be taken away from them.

Never. The word whispered in Jake’s ear from somewhere deep inside. He’d never let Maddox go for as long as Maddox let him hold on. Rather than say anything, rather than break the contact, he tentatively pushed his tongue into Maddox’s mouth, a rush of desire building in him when Maddox moaned low in the back of his throat, accepting what Jake offered.

Jake swallowed the sound.

They stayed like that for a long while, nipping with sharp, playful bites, exchanging heated kisses, exploring each other’s bodies with touches that walked the razor’s edge between greedy and tender, curious and demanding.

Maddox traced his fingertips up Jake’s chest, almost hesitant, asking rather than taking.

The heavy drumbeat of Jake’s heart against his ribcage set an agitated rhythm, full of longing. Every muscle tightened as he pressed closer to Maddox, wanting more—needing more—as sweet anguish rose in him. Each new sensation only added to the last, sending sparks of heat through Jake until the very air around them seemed to crowd in, push them closer together, even as it threatened to explode. They’d been building to this most of their lives, and now Jake wasn’t sure he could survive without Maddox in his arms, without Maddox’s mouth against his own, without Maddox’s body so close it was nearly a part of himself, without Maddox touching him. How had he endured so long without it?

Before Jake could analyze this new desperation in himself, Maddox shoved him onto his back and climbed on top, still kissing the hell out of Jake.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered when they broke for breath.

Maddox grinned into another kiss as he straddled Jake’s waist and ground down against him. With every movement, Maddox’s ass brushed the tip of Jake’s cock, barely a murmur of contact but enough to send a jolt through Jake’s body, again and again until all he could do was whisper Maddox’s name like a prayer against his lips.

Jake gripped Maddox as tightly as he dared, as if he could convey with his body everything Maddox meant to him. But how could he adequately express that this was all he’d ever wanted? Maddox sighing into his mouth. Maddox wrapped up tight in his arms—not enough and nearly too much at the same time. Nothing like any foreplay or first kiss he’d ever experienced. Well. He wasn’t counting the fleeing-from-an-unknown-animal kiss. That was fear and madness, thoughtless and wild instinct. This was…right. Kissing for the sake of it, as if the simple act of being together could be the main event. And, Gods-be-damned, if this was all he ever got of Maddox, Jake would spend the rest of his life doing it.

Apparently, though, Maddox disagreed. He kissed down Jake’s chin, pressed his face to Jake’s throat and down his chest, only pausing to swirl his tongue around a nipple. Jake gasped and gripped the back of Maddox’s neck, wanting to keep him there forever, live a lifetime of tortuous teasing while at the same time needing Maddox to move, to do something to his cock. Jake’s grip on his neck seemed to be all the encouragement Maddox needed. He could feel more than see Maddox smile against his skin, his breath hot and quick before he scraped his teeth against Jake’s nipple, then licked it tenderly before sucking again. “You like your nipples played with,” Maddox whispered with a glance at Jake, barely visible in the moonlight breaking around the curtains, his grin broad, mischievous.

“I…you’re the first,” Jake admitted, breathless, barely able to get the words out because, Gods, something so small shouldn’t affect him so much, shouldn’t make his skin so hot, his pulse so fast.

And with that small, whispered admission, Maddox’s grin went from mischievous to smug in a flash.

“Proud of yourself?”

“A little bit.” Then the bastard shifted to the other nipple rather than drifting lower, rather than doing anything to ease the ache in Jake’s cock. All Jake could do was buck up against him, trying for contact, anything to get pressure on his erection, but Maddox expertly and, Jake thought, a bit gleefully, dodged him.

Maddox slowly slid down Jake’s body, pausing every few inches to lick his sweat-slicked skin, scrape his teeth tenderly, and lap his tongue against the faint dusting of hair on Jake’s abdomen. And then he paused. Again. And Jake thought he might lose his damn mind, lifting his head to glare down at Maddox, frustration and desire roiling through him. But his frustration eased as he caught Maddox’s eye, saw the way Maddox tugged at the top edge of Jake’s boxers.

“Um…can I?” Maddox asked.

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