His buttery-soft words push away the fear and pain coursing through my body. I drop into him, smelling the familiar scent of his shirt.
“You’re okay,” he soothes, his big hand rubbing up and down my back until I stop crying.
Until I stop feeling the guilt from his brother’s assault.
I hate that I enjoyed the feeling of his piercing, because I hatehim. I hate that I enjoyed the thrill of being hunted. I hate that I didn’t fight harder because it started to feel good. What the fuck is wrong with me?
“Why didn’t you wait in the car?” Gentry asks. “When a man like me tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the fucking car.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“You walked into something you can’t walk out of. And IknowI need to get rid of you, I do. But I can’t. I don’t know if Karson will, and that’s even more of a reason formeto take you out, becauseheenjoys the pain and punishment. He’d enjoy killing you. But against everything I believe in, against all the rules I’ve laid out, I can’t get rid of you, wanderer. I don’t want to.” He takes a deep breath. “Welcome to the fucking business.”
I sense the lack of permanence in his voice. There’s no finality. “For now?” I ask.
He leans in and kisses me, but he doesn’t answer the question. Instead, he grips my arm with one hand and the waistband of my pants with the other. “I don’t want his come inside you.” He slips my pants down to my thighs and brings his lips close to mine. “Push it out.”
I don’t argue, because I also don’t want Karson’s come inside me. I lean back on my heels and squat, using Gentry’s arm for support. I bear down as if I’m going to pee, and Karson’s come drips onto the ground. When I’ve voided every drop, I stand, pull up my pants, and follow Gentry to the car.
What a horrible fucking night. I learned more about myself than I ever wanted to. A deep seed of disgust takes root in my stomach and branches into my veins. I should be more bothered by the gory murder scene and Karson’s following assault. My legs should itch to beat a path away from these psychopaths. Instead, I want to run toward them. With them.
When Gentry welcomed me to the business, I didn’t feel an ounce of fear or trepidation. For the first time in a long time, I only felt like I belonged.
What does this say about me?
ChapterFourteen
Karson
Iunderstand what has Gentry wound so tightly now. Sinking inside her certainly changed my outlook on things. I find myself looking for reasons to keep her as we drive through the night and put some road between us and the mess we left behind.
Slitting her throat is still a viable option, but maybe I don’t have to do it immediately.
My abdomen hurts, and a wave of pain races through my core with every inhale. The pain in my gut is hardly a deterrent. I like it, and even though I should feel bad for what I’ve done, I don’t. I’ve never felt bad about the pain I inflict on others. It’s part of my diagnosis. IwishI felt some semblance of guilt so I wouldn’t do it again, though.
We pull into a hotel parking lot, and Gentry ushers the little thief inside to get our rooms. He won’t leave her alone with me. Not now that I’ve tasted the delicious haze of panic as I forced my way inside her. Just thinking about it gets me excited for the next time, and there will be a next time.
She hasn’t spoken to me since we started driving again. Not a single word. But I get it. I took her against her will when I couldn’t quiet the ache in my cock after such a glorious murder. Homicide sends a rush of hormones through my body, and coming after such an act gives me an indescribable release. Usually it’s in my hand, but her cunt presented a much better prospect.
Yeah, I understand why Gentry acts like a stupid fuck because of her. I could lose myself inside her too, so I have to be careful to keep my mind on the prize. We can’t both be dumb now, can we?
I suck in a deep breath and enjoy the sharp sear of pain rising into my chest. It should piss me off that he got in a few punches because I did what we agreed to, but I can’t find the fucks to give. And hedidagree to it. He even said he didn’t care if I used her a little, but I guess we both know that’s a lie now. The anguish was written all over his face when he saw that I’d played with his new toy. He’ll need to build a bridge and get the fuck over it. Our piece of shit father didn’t teach us much, but he always told us to share our toys.
My hand goes to the center console, and I pull out the pack of smokes tucked inside. I light one and watch the hotel entrance. I understand why they left me in the car while they went to secure the rooms—I’m the one covered in blood—but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. This isn’t a tricycle and I’m not the third goddamn wheel.
Gentry knocks on the car window and motions for me to follow them. I put out my cigarette, throw both duffle bags onto my shoulders, and head toward the back entrance. When we get to our floor and the elevator opens, Gentry throws the key card at me.
“Your room is on the next floor up, because fuck you,” he says.
I drop his bag on the floor, and they leave me to ride up to the next floor alone. I don’t miss the backward glance the thief gives me, though. I have a feeling that sexy piece of ass is going to rip us apart if we’re not careful.
* * *
Gentry
They hadthree rooms—two of them on the same floor—but I made the decision that was best for everyone. I need to keep Leana close, and she didn’t argue when I chose two rooms, so I feel better about that. There was no way I wanted to be anywhere near Karson, though. Not after what I walked up on.
Guilt eats away at me because I didn’t get to them sooner. I can’t run as fast as Karson, and a knee injury from my time in prison slowed me down further. But that’s not entirely true. Guilt mostly eats away at me because I was relieved he’d fucked her instead of killing her. I expected to find her dead, and my red-hot anger cooled to a simmer when I saw she was alive. Used, yeah, but fucking alive.