Page 16 of Roughing the Princess

I stared at the lyrics in my notebook. They just didn’t feel…right.

Nothing about today felt right. I was on edge. I closed my eyes, picturing the last stadium I performed in. The adrenaline rushing through my veins. The cheering crowd.

I opened my eyes and stared back down at the new lyrics. No one was going to cheer for this crap. I tore the page from the notebook, crumpled it up, and tossed it on the floor with the rest of my discarded pages.

“Ugh.” I groaned and faceplanted my pillow.

It was no use trying to focus on my next hit when all I wanted to do was text Talon. I rolled over onto my back, grabbed my phone, and stared at his last text: “Good night, princess. Don’t have too many dirty dreams about me.”

It was like he could read my mind. I couldn’t even count how many dreams I’d had of him. Weeks of texting. Weeks of him putting all his cards on the table. Weeks of me pretending like his words didn’t affect me. But they did.

Somehow over the past several weeks, Talon Kendrick had become my confidant. Being on tour was hard. Lonely. He made it feel a lot less lonely.

I thought when I got back home, everything would feel normal again. But most of my friends weren’t in town. They were on their own tours and fashion runways and movie shoots. And I wasn’t sure I would have called them even if they were here. Because the only person I wanted to call was Talon.

I scrolled back to the picture of him he’d sent the first night we texted. He was out with his friends. God he was handsome. That smile just did something to me.

His game was starting in a few hours. And then a few hours after that…I was supposed to meet up with him.

I wanted to. Desperately. But I was also terrified.

I wore my heart on my sleeve. Everything I felt went into my music. And after writing dozens of songs about heartbreak, it was hard to not think that maybe there was something wrong with me. I loved fiercely. And that meant that when I lost that love…I felt like I was breaking in two.

Stumbling from one relationship to the next was not a good move. And I already felt attached to Talon. We weren’t even dating and I was grabbing my phone every few minutes, hoping he’d texted me.

Sometimes I worried I sought this pain out. Because it fueled my music. Like I wanted the heartbreak. But no one wanted this. I didn’t even want this.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

I quickly brushed it away.

My heart still hurt. It had been a few months since my last breakup, but I just felt this…ache. Almost like there was a piece of me missing. And it scared me that I didn’t feel it when I talked to Talon.

I never would have agreed to go out with him tonight. But I’d been on an adrenaline high after a performance when he’d asked me. I always felt like that after a performance. I was my best self. My most confident. I felt alive. And whole. And happy. I wished I could feel that way all the time.

The only time I didn’t like talking to Talon was when he’d pretended to hurt his knee in that preseason game. So I’d sent him a sexy lingerie selfie and pretended like it was meant for someone else. God, it felt so good to mess with him.

But yeah, I never should have agreed to meet up with him. Because I hadn’t been kissed in months. I hadn’t touched anyone else in months. And when I closed my eyes and reached out in bed, I still expected to feel my ex beside me. I’d expected to feel him beside me for the rest of my life. And it still fucking hurt.

Another tear spilled down my cheek.

Screw this.I wiped the wetness off my cheeks. I had a breakup song to write. Some days the only thing that kept me going was that my broken heart might help heal others. Because nothing was better than singing at the top of your lungs, cursing the boy who stole a piece of you.

Well…maybe there was one thing better. Because instead of grabbing my pen, I grabbed my phone again. “Good luck today,” I texted.

“Will you be watching?”

Always.“You wish.”

“But I might break my leg. And I’ll feel better if you’re watching.”

Talon Kendrick was insane. And he made me feel better. He made me laugh. He infuriated me. He kept me up at night. And recently, when I reached out in bed, I was starting to wish he was there.

I shook the thought away. “If you ever actually get hurt, no one will believe you.”

“You’ll believe me,” he texted back.

Yeah. I would. I trusted him. And that was what was so scary. I’d kept this whole thing as a text conversation because that way it could feel like we were just friends. Because that’s all I needed in my life right now. And Talon was a pretty fantastic friend.

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